|
Post by Jollyjunklass on May 30, 2005 21:36:44 GMT 7
That would mean just another yellow infested area for us to clean. NO THANKS!!!
|
|
|
Post by Mr Nobody on May 31, 2005 3:12:45 GMT 7
Yes, but think of the smell!
Urinals NOW!!
|
|
|
Post by George61 on May 31, 2005 3:53:34 GMT 7
Bloody women....it's just sheer laziness! "Put the seat down, dear, so I won't have to do it" Fortunately, I don't have to fret about this in my house.
|
|
|
Post by Mr Nobody on May 31, 2005 3:54:59 GMT 7
Yar, me neither. I might in the new place. The gf just put in a western toilet. When I arrive, I must educate her on Western Toilet Practices, methinks.
|
|
lily
New Chum
Posts: 6
|
Post by lily on May 31, 2005 6:45:21 GMT 7
"it's just sheer laziness! "Put the seat down, dear, so I won't have to do it" - George.
Nope. It's more that we don't see why we should have to TOUCH it. Why should we have to put our hands anywhere near your splatters? Talk about icky. It's bad enough having to clean the things.
|
|
|
Post by Mr Nobody on May 31, 2005 6:55:28 GMT 7
good ask no?
|
|
|
Post by George61 on May 31, 2005 7:17:34 GMT 7
No matter how you shake and dance, The last few drops go down your pants.
|
|
Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
|
Post by Ruth on May 31, 2005 8:39:10 GMT 7
If you sprinkle When you tinkle Be a sweetie And wipe the seatie.
George started it. As a group home mother I lived with 8 teenaged boys and my husband. I learned - real fast - to always check before I sat down. Self preservation. There was no changing all of them. Majority ruled, but the kids cleaned the bathrooms.
Welcome Lily. I'm very sorry that you entered the saloon through the bathroom. But the fact that you stayed and introduced yourself says a lot about your character. Always glad to have more female members.
|
|
|
Post by Mr Nobody on May 31, 2005 11:11:41 GMT 7
no need to gild the lily
|
|
|
Post by Raoul Duke on May 31, 2005 11:43:11 GMT 7
TIFC (This Is F*cking China), guys. Urinals cost money. Step outside and use a tree. Or George's bike, perhaps.
|
|
|
Post by Jollyjunklass on May 31, 2005 11:49:44 GMT 7
Sounds like a plan 2 me.
|
|
|
Post by con's fly is open on May 31, 2005 11:53:10 GMT 7
"it's just sheer laziness! "Put the seat down, dear, so I won't have to do it" - George. Nope. It's more that we don't see why we should have to TOUCH it. Why should we have to put our hands anywhere near your splatters? Talk about icky. It's bad enough having to clean the things. Introducing the urinal: high placement to reduce distance of stream travel and thus splatter; a large porcelain lip to contain offending liquids; wide interior contours that are easy to clean; a specialized toilet brush to wipe free surfaces with hands touching unsanitary surfaces; and a urinal cake to keep things smelling fresh. Raoul, don't hand me the TIFC: how many private homes in Canada and the U.S. have urinals? Ladies, THINK IT THROUGH: we wouldn't tinkle, standing up, into the toilet. Everybody wins.
|
|
Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
|
Post by Ruth on May 31, 2005 16:26:49 GMT 7
In my former occupation I toured a six-bed group home for mentally disabled adults. In the bathroom the men shared there was a funnel-like contraption that the guys used to help them hit the toilet. Plastic. Has to be cheaper than installing a porcelain urinal.
|
|
|
Post by con's fly is open on May 31, 2005 19:09:34 GMT 7
v Oooookaaaay... cautiously optimistic. But I'll need schematics.
|
|
Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
|
Post by Ruth on May 31, 2005 21:25:07 GMT 7
It was about the size of a one quart plastic milk bottle. The kind with the handle. Imagine it upside down with the bottom cut off and a tube extending down from the mouth of the bottle. Hold the handle on the outside (sanitary), insert penis, hold over toilet, pee. Simple enough?
We really should have started another thread to discuss peeing. This is not a good introduction thread for all the new members and guests we've been entertaining.
On the other hand, if they can stand the welcome through the bathroom, maybe they'll really fit in.
|
|
|
Post by con's fly is open on May 31, 2005 21:55:05 GMT 7
Hi, everyone, I'm Con. My turn-ons include urinals, getting drunk in public then claiming to be the victim, and procrastinating about writing letters home. Oh, and hogging the school computer to hang out here. Amazingly, I'm still single. (Just thought I'd unjack the thread)
|
|
|
Post by Jollyjunklass on May 31, 2005 22:29:42 GMT 7
Okay enough already, But........since we are back on the bathroom topic. I think it's time to get over the toilet and discuss the next bathroom fixture. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow you're nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. Did you all notice how I, tastefully used the word wie ner.
|
|
|
Post by con's fly is open on May 31, 2005 22:35:37 GMT 7
Well, until the smiley. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE CON IN CHINA: 1. Disrobe into the pile of dirty laundry in front of the wardrobe by the door. 2. Select outfit to wear after shower. Discover ther are no clean socks left; sniff them all, and select the 2 least rancid ones. 3. Realize that you merely dreamed that you plugged in the shower unit (that the flashing lights were located on the ceiling above the bed in said dream should have tipped you off). Plug in the shower unit for real, then smoke and read until the shower plays its bleeping "I'm ready" music 30 minutes later. 4. Go to bathroom. Shave. Turn on showerhead. Scald yourself; resolve to turn the heat down next time. 5. Realize you've forgotten to place towel outside the bathroom; place said towel, now wet, outside. 6. Notice that your drapes are open and that you've given a half-hour nudey show to 20 households across the alley. Be thankful that at least you weren't "pulling the goalie". 7. Enter shower again, turn on showerhead and scream in parbroiled agony. Lather up washcloth while dancing in and out of shower stream in a perverse twist on Hot Potato. 8. Notice that you've forgotten to unplug the shower unit, and have only by the grace of God escaped electrocution. Turn off water, wipe hand dry, unplug the unit and recommend showering. 9. Watch the pool of muddy water that forms because the drain is not at the lowest point in the floor. Speculate on what forms of Athlete's Foot exist in Asia. 10. Overhear screams of young students running in the hallway. Try in vain to wall them off in your mind from the fact that you're naked and soaped up. Sigh and conclude shower. 11. Look at self in mirror and see the pathetic job you did of shaving. Feel face, conclude that your skin is too sore from the first effort to finish it off, and resign yourself to looking like a chemotherapy patient in class. 12. Lean out of shower to grab towel, hiding behind bathroom door in a tragically belated attempt at modesty. Convince yourself that no one was watching in that entire 30 minutes. 13. Towel off. Notice that the towel smells worse than you did before you showered. Compensate with excessive deodorant and enough cologne to sanitize a table saw. Dress and go downstairs.
|
|
|
Post by Jollyjunklass on May 31, 2005 23:20:40 GMT 7
LOL, Wow what an ordeal, I wonder how you end your day And I thought we were fixated on this bathroom issue. www.thebathroomdiaries.com/I wonder if we could make a living doing this kind of thing?
|
|
|
Post by Jollyjunklass on Jun 1, 2005 5:50:04 GMT 7
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Speaking of weiners, Rauol can you get rid of that hideous photo-op in our entrance, your giving that guy way to much credit.
|
|
|
Post by CarryAnn on Jun 9, 2005 21:37:17 GMT 7
Hey I can't even see that hideous photo - stupid new fangled computer thingy with digital photos thingy. I wanna see mine host! Now!!
|
|
|
Post by Raoul Duke on Jun 9, 2005 23:59:59 GMT 7
No, sadly, you don't.
Dear, you want to be sure and choose an avatar that isn't already in use. People are a little touchy about this sometimes although Lotus is definitely cool and knows you're new. If you need help let us know.
|
|
|
Post by CarryAnn on Jun 10, 2005 9:33:11 GMT 7
I need help - I'm not good with all this techy bizzo. Have deleted avatar as no wish to transgress unwritten cyber codes of good conduct and offend new playmates. Forgive me? Order anything you want (but not the top shelf).
|
|
|
Post by con's fly is open on Jun 10, 2005 9:48:39 GMT 7
I need help - I'm not good with all this techy bizzo. Have deleted avatar as no wish to transgress unwritten cyber codes of good conduct and offend new playmates. Forgive me? Order anything you want (but not the top shelf). As you figure out how to do it, Carry Ann (1 word or 2?), I'll follow closely. For the longest time Juggler and I were sharing Sylvester- I can't even remember how I put that one up.
|
|
|
Post by Raoul Duke on Jun 11, 2005 13:09:51 GMT 7
Definitely no problem, Carry. Our avatars are part of our identity online. No one likes to have their identity co-opted... But we know you're new here. All ya need to do is find a picture online that you like. You can copy the web address of that picture and paste it into the avatar box in your profile, just as you did before. It's recommended that you download a copy of the picture to your own hard disk. You might also consider opening a FREE account at www.photobucket.com, storing your avatar there, and putting that link into your profile. That way if the other site dies suddenly, you still have your avatar. You can also use Photobucket to use your own digital/scanned photos...either as an avatar or as additions to our Photo Album. If you decide to try Photobucket, let us know and we will help.
|
|