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Post by Lotus Eater on Mar 20, 2006 22:05:22 GMT 7
It's made of a hard plastic and fits snugly inside the guys underwear. Supposed to protect those delicate bits. Shaped a bit like a small noodle bowl.
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Non-Dave
Barfly
Try Not! Do - or Do Not... There Is No Try!
Posts: 701
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Post by Non-Dave on Mar 21, 2006 8:06:44 GMT 7
ahem!... A large noodle bowl!
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Post by Miss Motz on Mar 21, 2006 10:14:45 GMT 7
Not just worn for cricket, Aussie boys tend to have a 'thing' about protecting their 'thingy'!!!! Facinating to watch how much they have to 'adjust it' during the course of whatever game their playing, However they work pretty good, my ex got hit fair and sqaure in the family jewels while plaing indoor cricket and WOW everything swelled up bigger than normal...... if you get my drift You ask how I pampered him abck to health?? Hmmmm I didn't I couldn't stop laughing long enough to ahhh tend to his injuries He bought a box after that and wore it , and I guess still wears it cos man he was in PAIN - Very funny if you weren't the one with a swollen willy (I shudder to think of the replies to this one )
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Post by Norbert Radd on Mar 21, 2006 15:32:03 GMT 7
A study says people who have one alcoholic drink a day are 54 percent less obesity-prone than teetotalers are. (But those with four or more drinks a day are 46 percent more obesity-prone.) Another study indicates that among people who weigh too much or drink too much alcohol, those who drink more than two cups of coffee a day are only half as prone to chronic liver disease. Each study involved more than 8,000 people. Cynical take: Wash out your fat with liquor, then rinse out your liquor with coffee. You all are lucky because I somehow deleted all my jokes from my files.
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Post by con's fly is open on Mar 21, 2006 18:28:07 GMT 7
Point of information for the ladies: Mr. Johnson can take an astonishing level of punishment: he's made of spongy tissue.
His twin buddies, however, are glands...
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gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Mar 21, 2006 19:43:57 GMT 7
I don't care what you think, MM, that ain't no laughing matter... gonna go have a beer now and try not to remember what that feels like...
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teleplayer
Barfly
Ni3 you3 hen3 duo1 qian2. Gei3 wo3 yi4dian(r)3 ba.
Posts: 541
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Post by teleplayer on Mar 22, 2006 21:34:35 GMT 7
GenGrant, You're right. Hurts too much to be funny. Now, let's "mess 'wid' TeXaS!. Well, these are at least "Dubya funny."
Good, Better, Best.......
GOOD In Richardson, Texas State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting any. Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!" The officer later found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BETTER A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
BEST A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.
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Post by con's fly is open on Mar 31, 2006 20:22:48 GMT 7
A new store that sells New Husbands has just opened in New York City where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes tothe fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
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gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Apr 1, 2006 1:33:55 GMT 7
not true...third floor has woman who love sex, have money and come from families of brewmasters. floors 4-6 have not been visited...
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woza17
SuperDuperBarfly!
Posts: 2,203
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Post by woza17 on Apr 1, 2006 13:01:36 GMT 7
Good one Con I have to include this one in my lessons on relationships Cheers
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Post by Miss Motz on Apr 1, 2006 16:44:23 GMT 7
How do you kill a Circus? ? go fo rthe jugglar Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party??? Cos he had no BODY to go with My family is full of really really bad ..... but funny jokes MM
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Post by acjade on Apr 1, 2006 17:15:06 GMT 7
Miss Motz, you were brave enough to share. Here's mine. What does a Panda Bear want more than anything else in the world? A colour photograph of itself. Alternative answer( not mine but given by a FT to whom this simple question was given) --- A HOT Panda Bitch!
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Post by Miss Motz on Apr 2, 2006 11:08:51 GMT 7
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars to see if they Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Cheque, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. Its Called therapy. as you can tell it was an email from a friend
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woza17
SuperDuperBarfly!
Posts: 2,203
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Post by woza17 on Apr 2, 2006 12:58:09 GMT 7
Like them Miss Motz.
Not a joke but somthing my student said the other day.
We were playing Monopoly the other day 3 games going and I am the troubleshooter advising students, translating the English into well, English.
I was berating one student for not buying a property. I get rather overheated at these lessons. So I am yelling at her and asked," why don't you buy that property?"
Student It's next to the jail
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Post by acjade on Apr 2, 2006 18:38:59 GMT 7
Location, location, location.
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woza17
SuperDuperBarfly!
Posts: 2,203
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Post by woza17 on Apr 2, 2006 18:56:09 GMT 7
AJ you are right, she was actually playing the real game of real estate. She kept wanting to build hotels before she had bought houses. Well yes that would be better but we have rules in this game .
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Post by acjade on Apr 2, 2006 18:59:59 GMT 7
The game is only only a tool and one that has worked pretty damned well. It's next to the jail indeed. Well done, Woza lao shi.
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Post by acjade on Apr 2, 2006 19:01:53 GMT 7
And Miss M: 16, 17, 18, and 19 I can do here. Good one!
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woza17
SuperDuperBarfly!
Posts: 2,203
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Post by woza17 on Apr 2, 2006 19:10:06 GMT 7
AJ this same student is dressed up to the nines and I compliment her on her appearance. Here is me in my trakky daks. She replies I don't like wearing these clothes but my comfortable clothes are all dirty. I do the same thing. If you see me in a smart business suit then you know I haven't done my washing
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Post by acjade on Apr 2, 2006 19:22:30 GMT 7
That made me laugh.
I wear comfortable clothing here, too. I would never have gone to class at home in a track suit. Well unless there was a call for sports clothes. But here I wear sports clothes all the time because I figure if I have to climb eight flights of stairs it's sports and besides I try to use as much TPR as possible so classes are always energetic.
The though of putting on a pair of high heels unless it's for something special makes my feet hurt.
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Post by con's fly is open on Apr 2, 2006 21:21:23 GMT 7
If you see me in a smart business suit then you know I haven't done my washing It's like we were brother and sister in a past life.
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Post by con's fly is open on Apr 2, 2006 21:22:15 GMT 7
New exercise routine. If you're over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! SCROLL DOWN... NOW SCROLL UP.. . That's enough for the first day. Great job. Have a Beer.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Apr 3, 2006 5:54:03 GMT 7
In Miss M's post, number 4 mark your bin as your in tray.
I used to work in the Dept of Defence in Oz.
My bin was so marked.
Even the boss was amused. However, one day, we were visited by top level dudes, (including the fat Kim Beazely and some fat USAnians) and they were not. I got a note. Oh well.
Oh, yeah, I had so many plants that it was like a jungle, and I used them to screen my "office" from the others in the open plan office we had. I should have thought of jungle sounds.
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Post by acjade on Apr 3, 2006 6:39:27 GMT 7
Open Plan.
Rhetoric of the lowest kind.
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gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Apr 3, 2006 8:24:35 GMT 7
Thanks, Conny...i had 2 beers...that was a lot of work for the first day!
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