A Special Greeting for those still abroad...

[Mr Nobody]

Carrying an entire portaloo would be the best for all concerned.

[Newbs]

I occassionally get migranes, and one "remedy" is to rub this very concentrated peppermint oil on your temples. However, don't get it anywhere near your eyes, as the oil seeps along the finest lines in your face and into your eyes, where it stings like crazy. I experimented whilst in China and found that, although the stuff stings your eyes, it has absolutely no negative effects on your nose. I used to occasionally stuff this oil up each nostril and start smelling well, if not of roses, at least of peppermint.

[Lotus Eater]

Scented tissue is heaven sent. Likewise the ability to keep your eyes open and not see anything. You will develop many previously unknown skills in China.

I had a friend coming and in preparation sent her - and cc'd to my other friends who knew her - a nice set of exercises for practice prior toa rrival.

Level 1: Stand with feet shoulder width apart and squat. Rise without touching floor or walls. 10 reps per set.

Level 2: When competent with Level 1, repeat exercise holding up skirt, handbag and various other bits and pieces of paraphenalia.

Level 3: As above, but now stretch arm around and gently pat derriere.

Level 4: As above, accomplish this exercise with eyes open, but unseeing, nose not breathing and talk to neighbours sociably at the same time.

My friends all made her do the exercises every time they saw her!

[Newbs]

So now we know what they post up in Le Ladies Lounge.