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Post by Raoul Duke on Oct 7, 2004 10:52:12 GMT 7
Good stuff! It reads a LOT like Dave Barry....
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Post by con's fly is open on Oct 7, 2004 23:13:19 GMT 7
I was just gonna say: REEKS of Dave Barry. If an undergrad ripped him off, he/she deserves an A- or expulsion.
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Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
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Post by Ruth on Oct 10, 2004 7:40:07 GMT 7
No author's name was on it, but I agree with the Dave Barry folks. It was one of those things that get forwarded around the web. By the names of the hurricanes in the article, it isn't current - but very appropriate for poor Floridians this year.
Here's one for Ontario our daughter sent us: author Jeff Foxworthy - who also does some great stuff about rednecks.
BTW - this is still on thread. At least one hurricane made it to Ontario - Hurricane Hazel in the mid-50s. Flooded the town where I was born. I wasn't alive at the time, but my parents told me about it and I saw the results.
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Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
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Post by Ruth on Oct 10, 2004 7:42:29 GMT 7
Jeff Foxworthy on Ontario If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Ontario. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Ontario. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Ontario. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Ontario. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Ontario. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Ontario. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Ontario. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN : 1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend. 2.You measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. 9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. 10. Down South to you means London. 11. Your 1st. of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." 14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Ontario friends.
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