The Great Unwashed

[Chips Downe]

I've been to rich friends' homes - western toilets and bathrooms that are very clean, but the showers are invariably used for storage. What they do consider important is nightly feet- washing; one student was shocked when I said to forget it, I'd wait and have a shower...not realising the hassle. I got the shower the next day. (He really was perturbed and seriously, I do not have smelly feet...).

[Mr Nobody]

Well, they think westerners are dirty for eating with their fingers, but also think we are bizarre for washing our hands several times a day. I have noticed the feet thing too, but didn't think anything of it since I mostly shower morning and night anyway.

They have an order to washing that used to be important when you washed in tubs, but keep the same order even in a shower.

What's with the idea that you don't wash your hair if you are having a period? (that's for women only) It is supposed to be very unhealthy. That one is quite common around here. I know why you don't if you have only a river to wash in, but why does it persist?

And they will happily breathe in biological smells like the toilet when they eat, but not chalk dust for example, which they avoid like the plague.

[con's fly is open]

My brats are extremely well trained in washing their hands before eating and after "pi-pi". However they insist, after picking their nose, on showing me the booger. They're not grinning when they do it- they have very serious expressions, kind of "is that what I think it is?"

Next time I think I'll stare at it for a minute, then tell them their fortune.

[Chips Downe]

I've just been to an alfresco English corner... well, I suppose most are outside, but, as usual I ended up reaching for my hankie after the first hour and then deciding, after hearing a snicker that I was just going to go... don't think anyone will complain but if they do I'll say I was too cold.

Spitting is (where's the French coming from? Over-reaction to Chinglish?) de rigueur... but using a hankie? Tsk tsk and yii!

I found the secret though; a couple of them followed me and gave me the best pool lesson I've ever had (after a quick baijiu)... I sank 6 balls! Coincidentally I probably also gave them the best English corner they've ever had...

Anyone know a game for about 150 players?

[Ruth]

What's with the idea that you don't wash your hair if you are having a period?

Not just in China. Long, long ago, when I was in grade 7 and being taught about these female things in health class, our teacher told us it was okay to wash our hair during that time of the month. Apparently it was an old wives tale in Canada, too, to the point where the teacher had to refute it. No idea where it originated, though.

showing me the booger

My munchkins have proudly shown me their's too. That's why I keep a box of tissues and a waste paper basket in my classroom. We aren't just teaching English. I was playing Go Fish with a group of primary students and one kid picked his nose and kept on playing. I handed him a tissue, but it was too late. He'd handled the cards after the deed was done.

Chips Downe, the best way to get people speaking English is to do it in small groups while having fun. Hence the success at your pool game. No idea how to help with the 150, though. It's impossible.

[con's fly is open]

chips said:

I've just been to an alfresco English corner...
Anyone know a game for about 150 players?

Singalong. EVERYBODY!

Every shalalalala, every whooooaaaa still shines
Every tingalingaling-

[Chips Downe]

Oh god! but a brilliant idea...and unlike my brother-in-law Phil, it just might work! But English corner is cruel and unusual enough punishment already, I'm not having the Carpenters too. Now you've made me think maybe we could hold a play-reading - guess I'd have to make some photocopies... or perhaps a reenactment of the battle of Naseby, or Trafalgar... (were there any where the Chinese won?)

What would be a good theme for role-play en masse ? Or maybe we could just do 'Waiting for Godot' with 75 Vladimirs and 75 Estragons... yeah, I'm cool with that!

[Ruth]

Waiting for Godot could work. Just split them into two camps. The students I have are so used to rote chanting that having 75 fellow players for the same part shouldn't faze them.

[con's fly is open]

;DOo, oo! Antigone by Sophocles! There's tons of scenes with a Greek chorus, 12 parts. Divvy up!

Also the main parts. And I'd bet my testicles there's a free download to be had.

[Wolf]

Ah, public domain and the various and sundry universities that put classic lit (or out of copyright translations thereof) up on the net. Here's Antigone


What about a little G and S? No, it's not the same as S and M. There's never any S and M in G and S.

What never?
No never.
What never?
Hardly ever!

Play readings would be a great idea for a moderate number of well - prepared students who were intersted in expanding their cultural and linguistic horizions.

For re-enacted battles, you could always look at Cao Cao's victories that lead to the founding of the Wei kingdom during the Three Kingdoms period. There was no English involved, though (AD 190 - 220 for Cao Cao's career; there wasn't any English anywhere on the planet at that time.)

Mindless rote chanting? You could always re-enact Picard's scene with the Borg Collective. ("Freedom is irrelevant. Self-determination is irrelevant. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.") In case you can't tell, I'm not the hugest fan of mindless rote chanting. ;D

Chips pretty much sums it up; EC's are little more than torture. What other communicative event exitsts in the world where 50 - 150 people drill a single person with irrelevant and repetative questions. Aside from China's own Denunciation meetings; but we're talking about langauge events common to the English language, so let's omit those.

[Ruth]

What other communicative event exitsts in the world where 50 - 150 people drill a single person with irrelevant and repetative questions.

A press conference comes to mind.

[Wolf]

ruth said:

What other communicative event exitsts in the world where 50 - 150 people drill a single person with irrelevant and repetative questions.

A press conference comes to mind.

Oh. Right.

Okay, besides the aqueduct, and the education, and the roads, and the irrigation, and the lowered crime rate and the library, what have the Romans ever done for us?

[Mr Nobody]

Wine?

[con's fly is open]

H.M.S. Pinaphore!

Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navy

Anoher idea: google "Murphy's Law". There are hundreds of them, in contemporary English, and each leads to naural discussion. Wish i'd thought of this for my summer class. A couple of my favouries:

- Screw wih something long enough, and it will evenually break.
- Unbreakable merchandise... isn't.
- Childproof caps... aren't.
- Leak-proof pens... do.
- A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
- The odds that the toast you dropped landing buter side down are directly proportional to the price of your pants.
- Products always either go on sale or become obsolete the day afer you buy them.

[Mr Nobody]

I wonder if Devil's Dictionary has an internet presence? I will try later.

admirability - my kind of ability, as opposed to your kind.

Women - the weaker, or unfair sex.

Abroad - to be a Frenchman abroad is to be unhappy. To be an American abroad is to make others unhappy.

I just report em - from 120 years ago, the pen of the great Ambrose Beirce, compiled about 1920.


Edited in yep, it does.

www.thedevilsdictionary.com/

[Hamish]

www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/

My favorite...

MARRIAGE, n.
The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.