Escaped Lunatic
Barfly
Civet Burger? Sounds tempting. Can I get fries with that?
Posts: 567
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Post by Escaped Lunatic on Sept 5, 2006 7:31:41 GMT 7
I have a small dilemma regarding gift giving in China. Many years ago, a very nice Chinese doctor took a one year position as a post doc at a lab I was managing. Despite the language difficulties, she and I became very good friends (just friends, nothing romantic - although I did get a very nice and completely unexpected goodbye kiss at the airport when she left USania to go home ). She gave me a number of small and interesting gifts during the time she worked at the lab. We exchanged a few letters, but eventually lost touch. When I began to develop a serious interest in going to China, I turned the internet upside down and shook very hard until her email address fell out. Since then, we've stayed in contact. Now, she plans to meet me at the Beijing airport when I finally get there. I consider her to be one of my oldest and dearest friends, but have NO CLUE what sort of gift to bring. She's already spent one year in USania, and has a son in grad school in Texas now, so she has access to anything from the US that she might have wanted but didn't manage to get on her trip here. I want to get her something truly special that she'd really like. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. “The greatest gift is to give people your enlightenment, to share it. It has to be the greatest.” - Buddha
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Post by Missi on Sept 5, 2006 10:21:19 GMT 7
Do you have a nice picture of the two of you? Plaque it.
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Post by con's fly is open on Sept 5, 2006 12:08:21 GMT 7
She's a doctor? Get something small but classy along that theme: the Hippocrates twiney snakes-on-a-stick thing, for example. Some small knick-knack she can drop on a table corner.
In the end, something in her set of interests. It may be an opportunity thing: wandering by a shop, you see the perfect doodad.
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Post by Lotus Eater on Sept 5, 2006 20:25:13 GMT 7
Why don't you email to ask her if there are any textbooks or bits of relatively inexpensive equipment she would like you to bring over for her - and then make that the gift? That way you know she wants what you are getting her, but in the end doesn't have to pay for it?
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Post by mich on Sept 5, 2006 20:34:19 GMT 7
Is she married? That might make a bit of a difference as to what you can buy her.
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Escaped Lunatic
Barfly
Civet Burger? Sounds tempting. Can I get fries with that?
Posts: 567
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Post by Escaped Lunatic on Sept 6, 2006 0:20:09 GMT 7
>Do you have a nice picture of the two of you? Maybe buried somewhere in my pre-digital-camera era photos. That would take some digging. >She's a doctor? Yes, but she's now semi-retired from Beijing Medical University. >Is she married? That might make a bit of a difference as to what you can buy her. Widowed since a few years before I met her. She'd be somewhere in her mid-60's by now. Hope she aged more gracefully than I did. I suppose I could ask her son, but I'd really like to make absolutely sure the gift is a suprise. “I fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts.” - Virgil
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Post by Raoul Duke on Sept 6, 2006 0:38:55 GMT 7
Something from the town where you both lived...something that will take her back to the old times you had together?
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Escaped Lunatic
Barfly
Civet Burger? Sounds tempting. Can I get fries with that?
Posts: 567
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Post by Escaped Lunatic on Sept 6, 2006 4:41:30 GMT 7
>Something from the town where you both lived...something that will take her back to the old times you had together?
Tampa . . . . . . . she probably payed less attention to the sports teams than I did. Not sure if I ever got around to explaining why downtown got conquered by pirates once every year.
Other memories - standing together in long lines to get her a state ID card and Social Security number, longer lines to get the University to cough up that first paycheck for her. (OMG! I think I was her FAO/waiban.) The University changed the logo and mascot a couple of times since she left, so even that sort of thing might not work too well.
Sadly, the Chinese place where she caused me to develop an uncurable addiction to wonton soup closed back in the 90's.
Any other ideas???
“Each day provides its own gifts.” - Marcus Aurelius
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Post by DollyODear on Sept 6, 2006 4:52:55 GMT 7
Look for something that reminds you of her. Something that represents how you really feel about her, or how she makes you feel about yourself if the former is too obscure. Like a piece of more than you can say. Nothing obvious, nothing overly sentimental. A small painting? Something from the Art Museum giftshop or some local honey with honeycone in it or a shawl that is just the right colors.
You know, Mojo . . .
Here is a poem to inspire you:
The Silken Tent -- Robert Frost
She is as in a field a silken tent At midday when the sunny summer breeze Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent, So that in guys it gently sways at ease, And its supporting central cedar pole, That is its pinnacle to heavenward And signifies the sureness of the soul, Seems to owe naught to any single cord, But strictly held by none, is loosely bound By countless silken ties of love and thought To everything on earth the compass round, And only by one’s going slightly taut In the capriciousness of summer air Is of the slightest bondage made aware.
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Post by Missi on Sept 6, 2006 6:01:15 GMT 7
BRING HER PIRATE STUFF!!!!!!
That way you can bring Tampa to Beijing.
Or if that is just too out there, a nice peice of art for her wall. or wait till you're hanging out with her in Beijing, and see what she sparks too and go from there. That way it is still a surprise.
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Post by mich on Sept 6, 2006 17:42:38 GMT 7
okay, so she's not married...
what about something like a pedant with a pretty stone or something along those lines..
A braclet? perhaps..A watch maybe.....
definatley not a ring, might give the wrong message..
Women love jewelery. well, I do anyway...
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Post by cheekygal on Sept 6, 2006 20:29:48 GMT 7
How about good old chocolate ;D
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Post by Lotus Eater on Sept 6, 2006 21:14:00 GMT 7
Now if she had been to Australia a 6 pack of TimTams and a few tubes of vegemite and you'd have been in her good books for life!
Paperweight of special stone from around your town?
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Post by solongtinik on Sept 6, 2006 23:00:42 GMT 7
o dear dolly odear i love the poem! have u read the SONNET XVII by pablo neruda! chiz! why think of a gift? will u be meeting each other or just send her? sorry tired to read the whole thread...why dont u just set up a date?
a romantic one... like...
set up a dinner for two (boat) in a lake with floating water lilies with candles on top...and cover the boat with an indian cloth! chiz! just my ideal romantic idea...
did u mean u like her? sorry i just had my brain WASHED! LOL!
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Post by DollyODear on Sept 7, 2006 0:33:57 GMT 7
Oh, solong
that was beautiful too! Hm, is there a poetry thread?
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Escaped Lunatic
Barfly
Civet Burger? Sounds tempting. Can I get fries with that?
Posts: 567
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Post by Escaped Lunatic on Sept 7, 2006 4:28:17 GMT 7
>set up a date? a romantic one... Solongtinik, I was saving that gift for you. Tempting though it might be, I think my Chinese friend and I are a bit closer to the brother-sister set of relationships than lovers. She's my jiejie, not my airen. (Assorted incest jokes omitted so I can use them later. ) “What greater gift than the love of a cat?” - Charles Dickens (No, I'm not getting her a cat.)
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Post by cheekygal on Sept 7, 2006 22:07:20 GMT 7
Well... for a newbie in China you can't really set up a romantic date if you are not familiar with the place you are going to... And I am more than sure the lady would want to treat you lunch/dinner and would get highly offended if you offer to pay. You can offer to take her out though
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Post by gretch on Sept 10, 2006 23:24:19 GMT 7
Do you have access to the lab you once worked at together? If so, snag something from there, something that was in your daily routines/ duties/ etc. Something w/ the logo, name, etc. Even something as insignificant as a coffee mug, its the connections and memory that will come back... Plus, you've not only thought of her, but you've commited a theft in her...er...honor? anyway, I've always been one for the bad boys....so you may want to disregard that advice
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Escaped Lunatic
Barfly
Civet Burger? Sounds tempting. Can I get fries with that?
Posts: 567
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Post by Escaped Lunatic on Sept 11, 2006 7:22:35 GMT 7
>Do you have access to the lab you once worked at together?
Nice thought, but the entire building was gutted and redesigned (I came back to the university for a few months in 2001 to do some experiments with sulfer dioxide scrubbing). Short of stealing the front door, back door, or bricks from the structure, nothing is recognizable. Even the University logo and mascott were changed. USF doesn't seem to believe in tradition.
“The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value.” - Charles Dudley Warner
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Post by Mr Nobody on Sept 12, 2006 14:59:47 GMT 7
Get a card/photo signed by any workmates etc that still are around.
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Post by con's fly is open on Sept 13, 2006 14:16:19 GMT 7
A water bong. Decorated nicely, of course.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Sept 14, 2006 12:37:50 GMT 7
They have them all over the place here, Con.
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Post by gretch on Sept 14, 2006 13:31:30 GMT 7
They have them all over the place here, Con. Reeeaallllyy, where do you live again?
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Post by Mr Nobody on Sept 14, 2006 19:23:47 GMT 7
Nanning. They use them for smoking tobacco. Both Yunnan and Guangxi. Tobacco. Honest.
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Post by Lotus Eater on Sept 14, 2006 20:28:27 GMT 7
Plenty like this and smaller around. Sorry it's a bit dark. Flash was dodgy that day.
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