Folding up the tent

[con's fly is open]

My replacement, Greg, showed up yesterday morning. He's clever , good with kids and handsome. I'm leaving my brats in good hands.

So today: I teach 8 different classes altogether. This afternoon I had the first of my last classes, i.e. the next class will be taught by Greg while I sit in the Beijing airport guarding my bags. This is my best class, too: it's a thinly-veiled Drama class. The book, Modern English For Kids, is cut into scenes rather than units, so I drill the lines into them in the second half of the class, and they act it in the first half of the next class. Throw in a game or two and the lesson is prepared (can't believe I get paid for so little effort!
I'm intensely proud of my performance in this one: my kids' pronunciation, sentence structuring, reading comprehension, emotional inflection, facial expressions and body language has been astounding. And their ability to adapt the idioms to everyday use, improvise responses to unexpected questions, and overcome their Chinese shyness burst my buttons.

So now I said goodbye to them.




7 more to go...

[con's fly is open]

Reflections whilst soused to the gills:

Oh, my Mao, what marvellous folks I'm leaving!!!

m'kay, this is so intense. My year here has been carved into week-ling segments, and now I have entered the last segment. This has been my last Sunday, the last imogod-what-a-horrible-weekend-thank-god-it's-over-gimme-a-Chinese-beer Sunday. Every waking moment from here on in wil be the same.

[Dr. Gonzo]

You've done good, Con. I've hated leaving both times, despite all the crap that goes with the territory.

So, why are you going? and where?
Keep us in the picture. Sorry I'd already left Shanghai when you visited. wOZ remembers it well.................not!

[MK]

The last few days when you know you are leaving are weird...tense.
A bunch of people saw me off at the bus station, and although I knew I needed to go home to the UK for a bit and sort things out in my head, I had to ask myself why I was leaving all these wonderful friends...I cried like a baby all the way to the airport, too.

[burlives]

Yeah, I did the crying one too, only it was on the train and I had to turn into the wall of the sleeper. It was because I had a bunch of friends who I didn't expect to be there and someone who ran after the train as it pulled out.

[con's fly is open]

It's 10 to seven, and I'm still hung over from last night. Some things I won't miss about China:
>:(Mosquitoes from sunset to sunrise.
>:(Teaching that middle school class that I suck at.
:PCoal soot in the air.
>:(The poopy washing machines and "dryers".
:oParents smacking their kids in front of me.
>:(That god-awful shower unit in my bathroom.
:(Missing my family.
:(Missing my friends.
VCD's that screw up halfway throug the movie (still haven't seen the best part of Kill Bill).
:PBad pizza.
::)Nescafe powdered coffee.
:-XChinese opera.
:PBoiled silkworm.
>:(Bugs, EVERYWHERE.
Bargaining and haggling (I suck at it).
::)Chinese pop music (mostly, anyway).
Those lethal spices (yes, I'm a pussy).
Teaching at 8 in the morning.

...and least of all, "HALLOOOO!"

[Raoul Duke]

con's said:

Those lethal spices (yes, I'm a pussy).

It's true. He is.
But he does have friends here he doesn't have to miss...

[George61]

Crybabies!!!...................but I been there, done that, too. Not in China, cos I haven't left yet, but in other places. Goes with the territory.
Con, there are many things that you won't miss, but you will remember them, because you will find the equivalent wherever you go. Have fun!!!

[con's fly is open]

TUESDAY
This morning I actually got up before noon, 9 a.m. no less! I took New Guy to the pizza place and we hashed out a lesson plan for this week's classes. He knows his stuff, and he's met most of the kids, so it'll go fine. If any class tanks, it will be the middle school students tomorrow, but the lesson plan is pretty thorough, as well as flexible, and I'll pile up some extra material tonight (and eat up some class time taking pictures).

Now I'm doing laundry. This is interesting in that some of the stuff I'm washing won't be worn again in China. I just reorganized my/Greg's desk, so the packing-and-chucking phase of operations is underway. Wonder if I'll feel this cheerful when I log on tonight?

[Lager]

Con--when are you actually flying out?

I see your list here---God man get a DVD the week you come back. Price has dropped a lot and no comparing the quality and choice of movies.

[con's fly is open]

I have a DVD player, and rentals go for 1 yuan a night. I wish I'd bought it a long time ago- I've seen some bitchin' movies! The selection in Shanghai should be much better.

On deck today:
- Greg and I will teach that horrible middle school class. We have a good lesson plan with a lot of material, plus a lot of "meet Greg" activities.
- A trip to the bank to send money home. I'll leave some in the account for when I return, I'll hold onto a few red flags, and the rest goes to my bank at home. I'll post the results on the appropriate thread.
- I'll pack away the clothes I won't wear, and the gifts I'm taking back. I also have to buy a separate case for the biggest piece, a jade globe for my dad.
- Tonight I'll have the Great Outgoing Laowai Giveaway: everything I don't want to take to Canada must go! Fantastic sales prices of 100% OFF (no haggling- that's as low as I'm prepared to go). The school will store the stuff I want to take to Shanghai when I return.

I'm tired just looking at this list. Maybe I'll go take a nap.

[Ruth]

So, Con, anything good you want to send to Xingcheng?

I'm curious, what age of kids were you doing the drama with? That sounds great.

I hate goodbyes. I feel for you. Glad Greg seems like a nice guy. At least you know your kids will be in good hands.

What size of globe did you buy? Is this going to be extra weight/size for the airplane?

[Ruth]

Con, while you're home.... When I went home this summer I vowed to bring back props to aid my teaching. At every rest area/tourist info place we stopped at on our travels, I raided the brochure racks. Our students love the glossy, colored pictures and you can do so many things with them besides just show the pictures. If a restaurant where we ate had a colored picture menu, I asked for it. (I'm teaching English in China and it would really be wonderful for the students to see...) Not one turned me down. The best thing I brought back was a copy of the game "Guess Who". They are pricey in the stores, but I got mine for free from a Denny's in the States. At first the waitress told me they don't let the games leave the restaurant (they are for kids to play while waiting for their food). The teaching-in-China line sent her scurrying to the manager and I actually got two copies! Before I let the kids play the game we go through all the characters, taking turns describing them. You can go way beyond hair and eye color..."My name is Rachel. I have short brown hair and brown eyes. I wear a red hat and red earrings. I like red. My nose and mouth are small and my face is round. I have thin eyebrows and short eyelashes." "My name is Tyler. I have a huge nose and big mouth. I have curly black hair and a black moustache. I have brown eyes and bushy black eyebrows. My chin is square." I also brought back colored sale flyers from the Sunday paper. Lots of good words on there.

Hope you have a good trip home. Come back with suitcases full of goodies - hopefully obtained for free!

[con's fly is open]

Xie xie, Ruth; great tips! I'll also bring back Scrabble, Risk and Monopoly. Scrabble especially would be magic for ESL.

Last night was the going-away dinner, since everyone will be too busy on the weekend. So I said 95% of what needed saying, but I lost this morning to the liquor snakes. Did I mention above I won't miss the masochistic Ganbei sessions?
Yesterday I sent my money home (details in the LLLLLL room); I left 2K in the bank here for when I return, and held onto 4K in redflags. I did a money swap with Greg, so I've got about $400 Canuck. Boy, when I walked out of that bank I was 10 years younger: now the year is officially a success (short of outrageous acts of God, as always).
We survived the middle school class: the unit was called "Talking About the Weather", and we got it into their thick skulls that it was extremely useful English to pick up- I taught them the term Small Talk and the little punks' eyes lit up with something resembling recognition. They actually got something out of it. Today Greg taught the same lesson to the sixth graders, and it went fairly well; he has the standar rookie problems: not making them repeat enough, talking too quickly and with a tad too much slang, not watching their reactions carefully enough, and I suspect he'll have a tough time putting Mr. Boot in young emperor's rear end when it's needed. But that's the rite of passage we've all been through. And like I said, they like him.
I found a suitcase big enough to contain that globe, actually haggled a good price for it (200 RMB), and now it's packed. I can now pack all my clothes: the ones I'l wear from here on in will go into the garbage rather than the laundry.
Tomorrow: watch Greg teach the young English 900 class, finish packing, clean like the wind, one quick washload of clothes, and help Greg prepare all 4 Saturday classes. Oh, lunch with a friend, gifts for our two cooks, and letters for all my students. The latter ain't gonna happen, so I'll just e-mail them to the school.
I should hire someone to do it for me.

[con's fly is open]

Friday:
A full day of frenetic packing and cleaning, and as of now, no end in sight. I went out to buy a Chinese flag, but the mall was sold out. I'll be scrambling into the wee hours to get everything done... then 4 classes tomorrow before I hit the train, leaving at 9:07.

A wrinkle: I'm allowed one carry-on and two checked bags. I've packed five. The charge per extra bag:

Ready?

$167 or 1000 yuan apiece! Crap, those gifts I bought are gonna ruin me! Now I've gotta scramble to the post office tomorrow and mail them.

[con's fly is open]

Oh yeah, said goodbye to another class, they'll miss me, boo hoo, blah blah blah.

Air Canada motherm'kayers.

[Raoul Duke]

Oh, stop whining and move already.

Shanghai, the city where life is rough- City Supermarket was out of European-style multigrain bread tonight so I had to buy a loaf of the most incredible focaccia you ever tasted to eat with my assortment of French cheeses- is waiting for you. As are many more masochistic ganbei sessions, and a good old-fashioned country-style ass-whuppin' on that Risk board of yours.

[con's fly is open]

Risk? Alrighty! But we gotta get at least a third player, for that crucial betrayal-leading-to-fisticuffs element that defines the true Game For Bastards.

So what's the deal? Will China Post send my heavy, fragile jade parcels for cheaper than Air Crapola? Remember, they only have to get there before Christmas.

[Hamish]

I was an airline pilot in my former life.

Make sure you check the heaviest ones first.

Then, pay for the lighter one's.

Arrive early.

Look pitiful.

Be obsequious.

[con's fly is open]

Xie xie ni for the tips, Hamish. I'll be at the airport 7 hours early as it is, and eager to dump my load (er, luggage, that is). Given how ragged I'll by the time I get there, pitiful is a given. As for sucking some Chinese ass, I'll make you all proud.

Crap, my first and favourite class was rough. I was sitting among the students watching New Guy teach tham, looked over at my last class with the little bastards, and chewed on my tongue to keep myself from blubbering openly. This afternoon will suck, too, but not as searingly.
Goddamn, I have so much cleaning to do! One hour till class, so I'd best get to it.

So, kids, this is my last posting from the Middle Kingdom. I'll next log in from Canuckistan to first whine about my trip, then gloat about the luxuries at home.

[Raoul Duke]

To me this is one of the most significant assets of forums like this one...access to expertise that most people only dream of. For example, being able to learn about being pitiful and obsequious directly from someone like Hamish is truly awesome. You can't put a monetary value on something like that.

Although Hamish will probably try, so watch yer ass.

[con's fly is open]

Home sweet home! More ta-mah-rah.

[Ruth]

Glad you made it Con - we'll assume safely. I'm curious about how you handled the extra luggage problem. I just mailed 3 packages (of CLOTHES - custom made Chinese style) to Canada and it cost me just over 600Y. That's more than the clothes cost to have made! But it's worth it, I guess. They better arrive at the destination - hopefully before Christmas.

[roaming kiwi]

Am I to take it then, from Raoul's post, that you're going to be back in our neck of the woods?

Damn slow internet. (That's today's excuse.) I didn't realise you were leaving us.

Please come back.

Please.

Pretty please.

And bring some yummo maple syrup with ya.

[Raoul Duke]

Yes, when Con returns he'd better bring lots of maple syrup back for us. Otherwise, I suggest we bore a hole in him, let the sap run out.....

In the meantime, since you're new in town and stuck way out in Minhang, this message may be exchanged for one free escorting to City Supermarket, where one may simply buy a bottle of maple syrup just like a real person. _{Limited time only. Certain conditions may apply. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.}