My country, right or stupid

[Newbs]

The discussion on the Great Wall of Stupid has got me thinking of a competition but this is worthy of a new thread.

What are the statements that one can come up with about one's country, that one would use when drunk in a bar, to imply, or even "prove", that their country is better than anyone elses? My idea so I go first.

Australia:
was the first country that was formed, in the political sense, as the result of a referendum.
is the only country in the English speaking world where voting is compulsory.
is the only continent encircled by bitumen. (Highway 1 goes right around Australia)
has a foreigner as its head of state (although we are not unique in that regard)
has the southernmost city with a population over 1 million. (Melbourne, a pretty obscure fact, that one.)
is the only country to have willingly allowed another country to test its nuclear weapons on its soil.
is the birthplace of the present Academy award holder for best supporting actress. (Go Cate)

I'm running out of ideas here, but I hope that this is a long, and highly controversial thread.

[George61]

We've also got the biggest rock...and the straightest railway line.

[con's fly is open]

Canada:
Has a bigger rock: the Canadian Shield, spreading from Northeastern Alberta and the Territories to Minnesota (we decided to share a scrap with the Yanks).
Is the only country to host the Olympics and fail to win a single gold medal (in fact, we did this both times: Montreal in '76 and Calgary in '88).
Was the third country in space.
Is one of only two countries to repell an American invasion (although the Yanks did a great job on the "unbeatable" British fleet). Iraq is bidding, but we'll see.
Has the world's largest dam (Three Gorges isn't finished yet), and derives the most energy from hydroelectric power.
Consumes the most slurpees per capita.
Produces the most garbage per capita (there's just so many places to put it).
Never slaughtered our aboriginal people (just screwed them up really bad).
Never invaded Vietnam.
Has, second only to Saudi Arabia, the largest oil reserves.
Not only interned citizens of Japanese descent, but unloke the Yanks, seized and auctioned off all their possessions.
Rules the Earth (as it pertains to hockey).

[George61]

Rules the Earth (as it pertains to hockey).

Isn't ICEhockey extinct?
The Canadian Shield isn't a rock!...it's just a lid that stops all Canaducks from falling straight down to Hell.

Is the only country to host the Olympics and fail to win a single gold medal (in fact, we did this both times: Montreal in '76 and Calgary in '88)

How does this equate with "rules the Earth in hockey??

[Newbs]

When it's today in Canada, the USA and the UK, it's tomorrow in Australia. (enzeders butt out of this one.)

[ChinaGurl]

I had a dream lastnight that I was reading a paper on Australia and it's demographics. The only part I remember clearly is this:

By 7th generation it's conceivably possible that all citizens will be immigrants.

Whatever that means. I know it's not relevant, but I thought I'd share.

On Canada:

Has a transcontinental highway that somehow both starts and ends in both Newfoundland and British Columbia.
Has the longest highway in the world (though part of it is actually a street in Toronto).
Has the best laws/policies in the world relating to marijuana smoking and gay marriage.

[Newbs]

Hey ChinaGurl

If you are referring to the Trans Canada Highway as the longest highway in the world (in one country) then I take issue. According to the internet (and it's always right) the TCH is merely 4860 miles long. In Australia that would qualify as a medium long suburban street. I don't actually know how long highway 1 is in Australia, and I don't intend to find out, as that would be against the spirit of this thread, but I know it's a bloody lot longer than that.

[George61]

You're right, Newbs...TCH only goes across Canada. Highway 1 goes right round the whole of Australia. Much,much longer.

[ChinaGurl]

Whoops, I got it wrong. What I meant to say was we've got the longest street in the world, even though part of it is highway.

Yonge Street comes in at 1,896km (1,178 miles). It begins at Toronto's lakeshore and ends up in Rainy River, Ontario.

It should be mentioned, however that, according to about.com (http://geography.about.com/library/weekly/aa052500a.htm) Canada is first in the following fields:

Longest coastline (243,792km/151,485miles, including coastlines of all 52,455 islands)
Tallest self-supporting structure (CN Tower, 1,815ft)
Most degrees of latitude (Canada spreads across 41degrees26' of latitude)
Longest undefended border (ok, we share it with the States, but it's still 8,893km/5,526miles including the border between Yukon and Alaska)
Largest shopping mall (West Edmonton Mall, 5.3 million square feet)
Highest tides in the world (Nova Scotia's Bay of Fundy, 20 to 40 feet)
Largest bay (Hudson Bay, 12,268km/7,263miles shoreline length)
Oldest rocks (Yellowknife, NWT, 4 billion years old)
Largest lake in an island in a lake (Manitou Lake, Manitoulan Island)

AND!

Longest National Highway (Trans Canada Highway, Perth-Peterborough-Parry Sound route, 7,604km/4,725miles)

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!!

[Lotus Eater]

How about Oz having/had:

the longest coral reef in the world,

not one public leader assassinated,

a Prime Minister who may have been eaten by sharks (surely the most original way of leaving office)

cattle properties the size of small European countries

the most blue sky per capita for a developed country

the ability to ship our loonies back - Rolf Harris, Germaine Greer, Dame Edna, Elena Dokic's father etc

We try to play with the big boys (our current PM has an ego problem and is so glad finally to have been picked on a team), but nobody else really knows we do, so we don't get the abuse handed out to citizens of other countries who encouraged us to do dumb things

[motis]

Newbs said:

is the only country in the English speaking world where voting is compulsory.

You lie, Australian imperialist running dog!

Actually, voting isn't compulsory in Australia... but if you don't show up at the polls, you have to pay a fine. Note that you just have to show up, you don't have to vote... and if you don't want to show up, you can just pay the fine.

In my opinion, that's an even better policy than making voting compulsory, because it gives people a means of opting out of the system entirely, but doesn't let them opt out by dint of sheer lazy irresponsibility.

[con's fly is open]

George61 said:

Isn't ICEhockey extinct?
The Canadian Shield isn't a rock!...it's just a lid that stops all Canaducks from falling straight down to Hell.



How does this equate with "rules the Earth in hockey??

1. No, men's pro hockey is merely hibernating, thanks to creeps who worship money over the game they play, and the fans who watch. The women and semipros are going strong.
2. The Shield will survive that giant meteor strike we all know is coming; Oz, I'm told, is a gigantic pile of loose gravel that's slowly disintegrating into the ocean.
3. Ruling the Earth in hockey equates to everything. If you're not a Canuck, I could never explain, and if you were, I wouldn't have to.

[motis]

Don't listen to Cons. Everyone knows there's no such place as Canada. It's all a fiction invented by Vietnam-era draft dodgers led by Farley Mowatt.

[Mattholomew]

Might I be the first actual Yank to tread these treacherous waters?

Since I don't wish to speak for the entire US, I'll just speak for my home state, California. After all, its population is pretty much on target with Canada's and larger than Australia and New Zealand.

California has:

- a buffonish ex-bodybuilder and action movie star as governor
- mudslides and earthquakes
-produces at least 90% of all porn films made in the US
- the biggest trees in the world
- the first American city to marry gay people (San Francisco, of course)
- the city with the best weather in the world (San Diego)
-deserts, mountains, and ocean all within a few hundred miles of each other
- the crookedest street in the world
- hot girls
- good bud

I'm sure there are some obvious ones I haven't included here but at the moment that's the best I can do.....not bad for one of fifty states, huh?

[George61]

Dude, since you are a new bloke, I will go easy on you. Firstly California isn't a country, and therefore is disqualified,
Second you lot seem to have a fetish for movie "stars" as Governor....and "mayors"
Your porn movies "suck"
Everything else is mere conjecture on your part...except for the "gay" bit..that may be true, but who cares!
Surprisingly, Yanks are welcome here, so drink up, and have another.

[Hamish]

hey...Hey...m'kayING....HEY!!!!!!

Even "mericans know California is a seperate country from the rest of "merica. Check out Texass. Them places ain't in the same Raoul's ex-wifery.

[George61]

Even "mericans know California is a seperate country

Shouldn't that be...."only" 'mericans...etc, etc...??

[ChinaGurl]

... and the gay marriage thing doesn't even count unless it's the whole country!!

[Mattholomew]

In response-

Sorry about violating the "countries only" protocol, but the rest of the US really does feel like a foreign country.TEXT Oh....and as far as the biggest trees in the world and crookedest street, that isn't conjecture. The Giant Redwood Trees are in fact the very biggest and Lombard St. in San Francisco is the crookedest. It'd seem like a silly thing to just make up.

And yeah, ChinaGurl, the gay marriage thing doesn't really mean much because it doesn't apply to the whole country. But we were proud to come from the place that put it on the table.

And as for the girls and the bud.....that was conjecture. But I lived in San Diego for five years and good lord....it doesn't get much better than that

[motis]

I'm also from California, and I say if a blatant fiction like Canada qualifies as a country, then my State certainly makes the grade too no matter how obviously imaginary and impossible it may be. Besides, have you ever noticed that California and Canada are never seen standing next to each other? I BET THEY'RE REALLY THE SAME PLACE. And that place is not real... it couldn't be!

California has perfect weather, which does not exist. The beach, the mountains, the desert, and the forest are all within a short drive of downtown Los Angeles, which is of course impossible. We have 0.125 artificial breasts per person, which makes people-watching very, very interesting. Our governator is an indestructible robot from the future who has been programmed to relentlessly pursue and kill. Our population includes a large number of openly gay and lesbian citizens, a fact that should not be ignored since people in both Russia and China have assured me that homosexuals don't exist either. California appears in many, many big-budget motion pictures, which proves it could not possibly be an actual place, since nothing in the movies is real or true. Even more damning, California is often seen on television. You want more proof that California is a mirage? Nixon came from California. REAGAN came from California. Finally, nothing could be as delicous as an animal-style Double Double from In-N-Out Burger, so there obviously is no such thing.

You people can yap on forever about your boring, pedestrian countries that exist in the humdrum daytime world of fact, but the dramatis personae of the Golden State know where that jive is at, babies. Your tawdry mundane homes may be non-delusional, but they are entirely ungroovy to the max and just not "with it" when compared to our eternally sunny and totally gnarly wonderland. Go West, young dude! Tune in, turn on, drop out!

[con's fly is open]

Did in fact live my whole life in Canadafornia?

There are 800,000 Canadians living in Los Angelos(es? ). I read that. Really. In two different places. Doesn't that make them Californians? Is it somehow squeezed between B.C and Alberta, or am I writing this squeezed between California and Alaska?

[Hamish]

Motis = wonderful! Just wonderful!

Course, this rif raf won't get it.

[ChinaGurl]

Hamish... methinks you're starting to sound bitter!!

[George61]

Yea, Motis' post was very funny, amusing, worth a giggle, etc. However when put in context with the original post, it is basically worthless. California is NOT LEGALLY a separate country, and, therefore is continually disqualified, now and forevermore. Sorry mate, but this thread was started by a fellow Aussie, and I have to help him prevent hi-jackers.
Now, to continue.. Australia has the best wine in the world (and I spelt that correctly)
Australia has the longest fence in the world ( and it's not for keeping Yanks out)
Australia has the longest beach in the world... 90 miles of pure, white sand.
Australia has the longest running Football League in the world.
Australia has more of the biggest and best in the world, that it is pointless for the rest of you to try and match us.
Australia rules, OK??

[Newbs]

George wrote

Australia has the longest running Football League in the world.

and within that league the oldest football club, of any code, anywhere in the world. Go the mighty Dees!!!!!