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Post by Dr. Gonzo on Dec 23, 2005 8:40:48 GMT 7
OK, I pinched this from elsewhere. Its both funny and terrifying. I'd rather drink from a baboon's bladder!
"I still shudder to think of it.
Three years ago, I taught a Winter Camp organised, privately, by my then employers' Foreign Affairs Officer. She was a nice enough woman and I more or less trusted her. Five days. 8:30 to 4:00. 1000 RMB / day. How bad could it possibly be?
It was as bad as it could possibly have been. From the moment I walked in the door I could see we were all in big trouble. There were hundreds and hundreds of kids. Kids running. Kids skipping. Kids jumping. Kids crying. Kids pulling out each others' hair. Kids baying for blood. I don't know if you've ever been to the Oktoberfest, but if you can imagine a biertent there filled with midgets, that was exactly what it was like. Minus the leather. Minus the trombones. But not, I must say, minus the beer: I noted that the Chinese staff were passing round a bottle. At 8:20. On a Monday morning.
I didn't see much of the Chinese staff for the first morning. I'm fairly sure one of them just left, and the other four were hiding in the staffroom while the kids did "exercises". My class was horrendous. Heinous. sixty baby crocodiles. Sixty wolfcubs. They snarled and hissed and snapped and fought each other in just the way young predators do. At the back of the class, staring glassily into space, was my "monitor", a student who'd been drafted in from my university. One of my students. One of my worst students. I will never forget how her eyes narrowed when she caught sight of me. Had there been a thought bubble over her head, I'm pretty sure it would have contained the words "HA HA HA. REVENGE IS MINE"
So, I start singing. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" Blank looks all round. Monitor gives an focused, malicious grin. Momentary hush as kids look round. No. Sorry. Nobody understands that. Some shruggling. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands". One kid gets it. Clap clap, he goes. "If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it". And then the one kid who clapped is smacked in the ear by his deskmate. Yelping. General hilarity. Breakdown in law and order.
"Listen!" "Sit down!" No effect, but I do manage to catch the attention of a rat-like kid in a grimy tracksuit. Snotty nose and leaning back on his elbows. Weighing me up. He slides out of his chair and strolls towards me, until we are standing almost toe-to-toe. He jabs a grubby finger at my crotch.
"What," he demands, "are those?" And then he punches me really hard in the nuts.
I look up through my tears at the Monitor. She's almost crying too. With joy.
Anyway. It got worse. Imagine Lord of the Flies, post-conch. (There was, actually, a fat kid whose glasses got broken). Imagine Heart of Darkness, minus charismatic God-King. It was hell. I still have -- and this is God's own truth -- a scar on my crown from where one kid hit me with a metal pipe -- you know, the ones they make bike racks with. He didn't hit me very hard, but he did find it very, very funny.
I escaped. When the bell went, I walked down the stairs, across the playground, through the gates and into a taxi. I have never taught anyone under the age of 10 since. It is quite simply beyond me."
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Post by Mr Nobody on Dec 24, 2005 20:54:41 GMT 7
My kids do rush up to me and tell me they love me. Mostly the girls, 18-22, but some of the guys do too.
Not sure why.
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gengrant
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Post by gengrant on Dec 27, 2005 8:36:59 GMT 7
and I do to, that is why I TRULY BELIEVE that camps (both winter and summer) are a waste of EVERYONES' time!
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Post by cheekygal on Dec 27, 2005 17:04:57 GMT 7
Hmmm. Well, it depends on how they are organized. A well-planned camp gives students opportunity to deepen themselves into the language environment. Unfortunately, most of the camps are directed on entertaining students and making big bucks for the organizer. In that case I would second the above
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Post by cheekygal on Feb 28, 2006 9:39:50 GMT 7
Well, my year contract is up. I'm sad to leave the kids but glad to leave the kindergarten itself. i'm yet waiting to be paid - it should be today as it is the last day of my contract and last day of the month... i started teaching primary school, grade 1. and planning on taking 1 kindergarten in the mornings... so... things will be fine
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Post by Miss Motz on Mar 1, 2006 6:23:35 GMT 7
Where do you guys get your ideas for lesson plans from? How many children in each class?? Teaching Kindy sounds scary , maybe I should rethink ??
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Post by George61 on Mar 1, 2006 6:47:24 GMT 7
1...generally speaking, you make your own lesson plans. Some places have a book or books to teach, some don't. 2...depends...on how big the class is.. ;D ;D
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Post by Miss Motz on Mar 1, 2006 6:52:21 GMT 7
George the chook still cracks me up. So I guess bring a few/lot of books from Ozland would be a grand old idea to help in the lesson plan stakes?? I've done a bit of prac teaching for an Ed degree here and the lessons only went for 20 mins and I had a ball but the planning.. took heaps of thought. does it get easier to do?? Can you save the plans for next time??? Sorry about the loads of questions
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Post by George61 on Mar 1, 2006 8:02:09 GMT 7
Yeah, but only save the plans that work...modify the others....Everything gets easier with practice.
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Ruth
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Post by Ruth on Mar 1, 2006 8:06:11 GMT 7
2...depends...on how big the class is.. I scoffed at this answer, but on reflection, he's right. They literally pack them in wall-to-wall. My high school classes range from 65 to 85 and my husband has one at almost 100. Three kids share two desks in that situation. One of my private students is in a class of 70 in a middle school. I've never taught primary, but they can be as large as 50, so I've heard. No idea how kindergartens work. Wait until you find out what age you will be teaching before you start packing books. Collect menus with food pictures on them. (Wheedle them out of restaurant managers by saying, 'I teach English in China and this would really help my students to learn English.' Put on the puppy dog eyes and you'll get results.) Not sure how it is in Oz, but in Canada and America when one travels there are coloured brochures at every rest stop, free for the taking. Grab those if they have good pictures of Oz scenery or people doing fun stuff, such as surfing. These are very popular when passed around the class and can be great discussion starters. Post cards do the same thing. Creating a good lesson DOES take heaps of thought and planning. In my experience the quality of the lesson is directly proportionate to the amount of time I've put into it. Others can wing it and do well, but I can't - although China is teaching me to be more flexible (ie changed or cancelled classes at the last minute.)
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Post by George61 on Mar 1, 2006 8:12:42 GMT 7
How DARE you!!
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Ruth
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God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
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Post by Ruth on Mar 1, 2006 8:13:00 GMT 7
Oh, animal pictures, too. I have a couple of old calendars with gorgeous animal pictures. Collect stuff like that from friends and family. Old Christmas cards if you plan to teach that seasonal holiday. Really, any colourful pictures that you think you can use. Some schools are lucky enough to have laminators. Mine doesn't, but I bought one for about 200 RMB. A very worthwhile investment. Once laminated, pictures can be passed around for years.
If you are heading for a kindie, a couple of CDs with good action songs will kill a lot of class time. I can't sing on key, so being backed up with a CD player is a real life saver for me. The kids enjoy the music, too.
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Ruth
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God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
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Post by Ruth on Mar 1, 2006 8:15:09 GMT 7
I took it back and admitted you were right. I didn't even tell you that coffee went all over my keyboard when I read it. Should I send you the bill?
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Post by Norbert Radd on Mar 1, 2006 9:59:41 GMT 7
20 activities for a 50 minute class is a good rule of thumb. Kids are conditioned to watching TV and it changes every 1-2 minutes. Oxford Uni. Press used to have a good book but I've only seen it in Taipei once at the YMCA. Taipei used to have a lot of good stuff for teaching kids. Use posters, flashcards, etc. Teach the kids to teach the drills. You got to have a lot of NEW stuff even if the students don't learn it. Personally, if I wanted to be in China and teach k/g, I'd go to Taipei. In the suburbs, there's a k/g on every street in some neighborhoods
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Post by Norbert Radd on Mar 1, 2006 10:00:58 GMT 7
One chant or song per week
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Newbs
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Post by Newbs on Mar 1, 2006 14:05:59 GMT 7
Divine Miss M, IMHO books are okay, but boy are they heavy. At the same time don't think that there are lots of really good printed sources available in China in the Foreign Language Bookshops. There will be some stuff that's useful but some of the stuff of sale you wouldn't use to start a fire with, or use it to wipe your ... well, you can see what I think of some of the stuff on sale in China.
Solution. Surf the net NOW, and find all those good sites that have real beaut teaching ideas that make you think "Why the hell didn't I think of that?"
Even the spoon has some good ideas in their cookbook, or whatever it's called.
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Post by cheekygal on Mar 1, 2006 18:20:30 GMT 7
apparently, my kids call new teacher by my name... it is so touching... all of them in my international class!!! and Nancy's mom (see Photosalon) wrote to me such a beautiful sms... I miss my kids!!! Primary school I started teaching is kind of fun but seriously, what do people think when they write books for primary school? THEY ARE BORING!
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Decurso
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Post by Decurso on Mar 4, 2006 22:43:36 GMT 7
My school has started soliciting contracts for pre schools.Thank god they left me out of it.
The missus isn't so lucky...these kids are THREE YEARS OLD!!!For cryin' out loud..they should be playing with blocks and painting pictures.Instead they're learning a second language when they can't even speak Chinese.
My point is...Chinese parents are sadisitic monsters with grossly unrealistic expectations.Any arguments?
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Ruth
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Post by Ruth on Mar 5, 2006 7:10:04 GMT 7
Three years old - or younger - is the BEST age to learn a second language. But not from books or by having it drilled into you by rote chanting. Play games, sing songs, read stories from picture books, give them commands and model what you are asking. They understand. Talk all the time in English to them. DON'T try to make them speak. They'll speak when they are ready. 'How long?' the parents ask, expecting instant results Go away. I'm teaching your kid English the best way I know how. They may not produce as quickly as a kid forced to memorize stuff, but I bet they'll remember it better. When they DO produce, it will come out naturally and be used appropriately. And they won't hate coming to lessons.
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Post by con's fly is open on Mar 5, 2006 21:20:31 GMT 7
Yeah, get them doing fun stuff, and asking you for what they want in English. Easy said than done, though: my kids are getting bored with my lessons. Coming up with fresh material is getting harder, and I've got another 6 months to fill. This is the hardest job I've ever had.
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Post by con's fly is open on Mar 5, 2006 21:35:54 GMT 7
I have a new problem emerging: skill spread. I started teaching equations. I implemented this process: Given "4 + 1 ="
draw little symbols in over the numerals: 4@@@@ + 1@ =
circle the symbols
count them
write the total in on the other side of the =
VVLDS and BBFFL can add without these steps, and just write in "5" instantly, completing the entire worksheet in just over a minute. GGRXTL and BBLLFDN use my method to perfection. Down at the bottom, Jane and RRRBG can't get the concept yet.
The same priciple goes for English, and for everything, frankly. One, for example, went back to Germany in spetember and just returned; he's way, way behind. Jane's been here all along, but her English has been way behind the others' all along, and now she ignores me whenever possible. KKNMNMN runs off and makes mischief at EVERY opportunity.
Now this challenge is universal: how to challenge the advanced kids and help the slow ones while teaching to the middle. But the problem is multiplied with these 'uns, and given their brief attention spans, if I target part of the class, the rest become unruly within seconds. Seconds. even when I get them seated and colouring/ drawing so I can attend them individually, I just can't get around to all 11 of them in time.
Like I said, hardest job EVER.
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Newbs
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Post by Newbs on Mar 6, 2006 13:30:54 GMT 7
Con, hang in there. I believe you when you say its a damn hard job, but you gotta remember, you are on a damn steep learning curve and you're going to come out the other end a better person and teacher for it.
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woza17
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Post by woza17 on Mar 6, 2006 20:25:10 GMT 7
Decurso I couldn't agree more. The kindy I teach at most of the kids live at the school. they go home Saturday afternoon and back on Sunday evening. They do the parents bother having them? Ruth spot on. I am given books KIds Castle and I have to teach them oval rectangle square circle diamond and triangle. Teaching oval mm So I pretended I was chicken and laid an egg, my reasoning being that an egg is oval shaped. So I laid an egg and hit at them. They like this agressive stuff so they laid eggs and threw them at me so I started laying eggs at as fast as a battery hen. For the diamond shape twinkle twinkle little star. I thought I could put the word into some sort of context. I am really struggling with this. I think the main reason is I don't want to do the gig. MM I think you have the drive enthusiasm and energy for a kindy teacher
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Post by con's fly is open on Mar 7, 2006 23:49:18 GMT 7
Kindergarten-age children live at their school? I must have misread that.
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Post by Miss Motz on Mar 8, 2006 7:06:50 GMT 7
Thanks for the vote of confidence Woz The more I think about it the more I'm leaning towards Kindy, they certainly provide an 'energy' challenge on a day to day base, I'm after somehting that will both stretch me an dkeep me entertained and little kids have always managed that bit apprehensive about the little chinese kids I've come accross here though, man they all seem to be buzzing on major highs!! Hopefully I've come accross soem 'exceptional ones' I can't believe that parents send their kids that young to live at school !!
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