tom
Upstanding Citizen
Posts: 124
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Post by tom on Oct 27, 2004 10:21:43 GMT 7
Hello all. I'm coming to China soon and I'm bringing my banjo. Don't make me use it. I hope to become involved in the sexual offenders program as soon as I can. At this point I'm not sure if I want to be the %*er or the %*ee. But I like the odds, me against a couple of gazillion. Not hardly a fair fight. It would be nice to teach English in China. I speak English just like somone from Oregon. Wonderful threads, wonderful heads. I can't wait to meet some of you. Yours, Tom
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Post by Hamish on Oct 27, 2004 10:37:59 GMT 7
At this point I'm not sure if I want to be the %*er or the %*ee. You have no chance. You will be the %*ee. Just relax and enjoy the %*ing. And old %*er.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Oct 27, 2004 11:11:29 GMT 7
A very warm welcome to both our New Chums! Damn fine to have you here- keep the posts coming! In China you can take turns being the m'kayer AND the m'kayee. Sometimes it's fun!
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Post by davis on Oct 27, 2004 16:18:55 GMT 7
Hey Tom, It's nice to hear someone else can speak just like someone from Orygun. Make haste and head for China. Not to worry either, you'll certainly get your share of being the %*ee.
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Post by burlives on Oct 27, 2004 17:39:02 GMT 7
Warm baths and plenty of fibre. Asprin as required. Not that you can get it here. Asprin.
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tom
Upstanding Citizen
Posts: 124
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Post by tom on Oct 28, 2004 8:59:17 GMT 7
I do, I do, I do, I do have a chance. Ok, that does it. I haven't felt this misused since I was a little girl. I am defintely going to be the 968#*er. If anyone tries to make me the 968#*ee, I'll cinch up tighter than a monkeys fist. Sure I pick a little banjo, but the only person I want to hear squeal like a piggy is my woman. My favorite drink...Gasoline My favorite dance.....12 rounds, Marquee of Queensbury rules. My hero....Stephen Hawkings, Professor Hawkings also happens to be the man I would most like to meet in the ring for 12 rounds. My favorite country that has a couple billion Chinese people living in it...........Idaho....... I mean China. You people are as goofy as I am and it scares me. Soon I'll get around to asking some serious questions and seeking out some sound advice. Untill then, belly up to the bar, assholes and elbows, I'll have another.
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Post by Hamish on Oct 28, 2004 9:33:24 GMT 7
Soon I'll get around to asking some serious questions and seeking out some sound advice. Do THAT, and you're REALLY %*ed.
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Post by George61 on Oct 28, 2004 11:04:51 GMT 7
Oregon!!.. ...May the good lord help us!!
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Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
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Post by Ruth on Oct 30, 2004 16:19:11 GMT 7
Isn't Oregon near Oklahoma? Sort of? They both start with O. Raoul's neck of the woods.
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tom
Upstanding Citizen
Posts: 124
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Post by tom on Oct 31, 2004 17:34:08 GMT 7
Yes, Oklahoma and Oregon share a common border. He's here now but were trying to get him to go home.
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Jazz
Up And Coming
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
Posts: 37
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Post by Jazz on Nov 16, 2004 22:15:12 GMT 7
Hello everyone! The names Jazz. As opposed to going to University and beginning the royal trip to being a working stiff...well... I opted for something different: China. How can a spontaneous teen surprise her parents anymore but to tell them that she is denying all her acceptance letters and moving to one of the furthest points away from her quaint hometown! Its been over a year now since I first embarked on the crazy trip that be China... and a generally good one she's been I am teaching in Langfang, Hebei now which is a nice little city to relax in. Beijing's so close that the western luxuries are not too far away... which is alot different from my first teaching job in Yuncheng, Shanxi. Basically that's me, well me in China anyways cheers
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Post by Steiner on Nov 17, 2004 2:15:52 GMT 7
Welcome to the forum, Jazz.
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Post by MK on Nov 18, 2004 16:17:31 GMT 7
Hey Jazz, how often do you get into Beijing? I live right in the city centre (well, almost)...been here a couple of months now (second year in China) and it's been pretty good so far. Only thing is, it's too easy to spend all my hard earned RMB on those Western luxuries...
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Post by con's fly is open on Nov 19, 2004 22:53:27 GMT 7
Howdy, Jazz! I'm Con, the most attractive man here. You can find a bunch of cool, disused threads in each room if you have the patience to sift through them, and there's some cool links in the thread called "Cool Links". The folks here are mostly serial killers, but very kindly online. What's Langfang like? By the ocean shibushi? How big? How modern? How clean?
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tom
Upstanding Citizen
Posts: 124
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Post by tom on Nov 20, 2004 6:55:44 GMT 7
Jazz, I hate to be contradictory, but if you look closely you'll find that Burl Gable is actually the most handsome man here. I'm a straight, woman loving guy, but for Gods sake, take a look at that dashing smile!
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tom
Upstanding Citizen
Posts: 124
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Post by tom on Nov 20, 2004 10:53:31 GMT 7
Dance little sister, dance!
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Jazz
Up And Coming
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
Posts: 37
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Post by Jazz on Nov 22, 2004 9:03:04 GMT 7
It's good to recieve mental pictures of all the handsome men in this forum hahaha, So to answer some questions... Monkey King, I am ALWAYS in Beijing well at least on the weekends. langfang is a new city, and by new I mean it used to be a small rural landlocked city that the trainline along with the Beijing 2008 olympics created a huge boom with construction so now its quite huge! Its location is exactly in the middle between Beijing and Tianjin, so there is alot of traffic coming through. You may or may not have heard of the Oriental University, or the Eastern College City... its just a big university outlet city, it has branches of alot of chinese universities. That's one of Langfang's claim to fame, that and sunflowers. I tend to compare a cities size by what western convienences(sp?) they have... and we can indulge ourselves with top quality McD's and KFC... or for the more intellectual (smirk) we have a UBC Coffee house. Basically its a beautiful city, but a quiet one at that which is why I tour out to Beijing every weekend for the expensive train price of 5.5 yuan one way
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Post by Sunaru on Nov 22, 2004 9:16:29 GMT 7
Jazz, you might have noticed that this bar is loaded with very lonely male types who are tripping over their tongues at the sight of your presence darkening the saloon doors . Might I apologize for them salivating upon your person and offer a hearty welcome on behalf of the civilized, refined yet masculine males of the forum. G'day.
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Post by George61 on Nov 22, 2004 10:09:25 GMT 7
Well by gollygosh gee whizz!!! the bullpoo is flowing thick and fast on this thread. Hi Jazz, take no notice of the above, I am the only truly sophisticated gentleman on this board. The others are all ignorant peasants suffering from delusions of grandeur. Welcome you to come to China!
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Post by Sunaru on Nov 22, 2004 10:46:12 GMT 7
(George61) (sunaru) We are so very refined.
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Post by Hamish on Nov 22, 2004 10:51:04 GMT 7
It’ll be all right Jazz.
Back in your cages you rabid sons of she-dogs you. That means you Sunaru!
And you, George, I have told you about coming out of your cage undressed like that. When did you get your last hose down?
Jazz – I’m all for freedom and all, particularly for women – don’t come in here without letting me know first. I need time to get my chair and whip and pistol.
These people are animals! Don’t step in that.
Come on in my room. You’ll be safe here.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Nov 22, 2004 11:03:27 GMT 7
I've also noticed from posts on our older threads that despite the mind-boggling mathematical odds, each and every one of the men on this forum are, uh, "equipped" like Nigerian porno movie stars. Just ask them. They'll tell you.
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Post by Sunaru on Nov 22, 2004 12:45:58 GMT 7
What mathematical odds? You memory challenged senile wingnut it was one of the requirements you had on "member"ship. Yessus some people and their infirmities really try one's patience.
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Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
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Post by Ruth on Nov 22, 2004 13:54:23 GMT 7
Welcome, Jazz. It's nice to have another female presence in the bar. As you can glean from the above posts, the place needs a little civilizing every so often. Don't let the rabid males scare you off. They're just trying to impress you. It's a male thing.
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Jazz
Up And Coming
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
Posts: 37
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Post by Jazz on Nov 22, 2004 20:46:41 GMT 7
hahaha, thanx Ruth... it'll take a little more than that to scare me off! Can't say that I'm not a little flattered by the attention.. who knew that words could still make that much-an impression hee-yuk Now its just decyphering the BS from some much practised tale telling
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