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Post by con's fly is open on May 26, 2005 8:32:52 GMT 7
I'd forgotten this little kernel of Chinese culture: without warning Mandi and I were whisked off to a restaurant where we met some muckymuck in the Education bureau (sp?). Lynn, our vice-principal, was trying to chat him up, to which he responded with cold silence and dignity. I disliked him instantly: if some guy's gonna stick his nose in the air, damned if I'm going to make an effort to rub his nub. We were joined by a couple, both also higly, but more humbly, placed in the Ed. system, and then it started: ganbe toasts (read: commands) to the laowai.   ad infinitum. Anyway, the couple were deeply charming; the husband in particular was really funny, an impressive feat for a guy who spoke maybe 5 words of English. After a few drinks Mr. Muckymuck loosened up and I started to like him. I remembered the protocol in China for these guys is to put on these kind of airs: it's that mysterious, complicated concept of "face", that deeply important recognition of rank, towards oneself as well as to and from others. That's a good thread in itself... Anyway, they brought their 7th grade 1st grade middle schooler son along, and we had a decent chat; he attends our school, and got second prize in city exams in Math. Doubly valuable: prize student, and from powerful parents.  Eventually, the drinking got to Mandi: I thought she had just spilled wine on herself, in in fact:  Muckymuck was very apologetic about drinking her to that stage, she played her embarassment up for humourous effect, and there was a wonderful side effect:  He really played the gentleman and sucked up to her big time. Women are brilliant. TIFC: the things we do for our school.  |
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Post by ilunga on May 26, 2005 16:42:20 GMT 7
The whole 'ganbei duty' thing is threatening to turn me into alcy. I was coaxed into 'ganbei'ing chivas regal and green tea last night. Not that I was complaining but I'm not really one for downing whisky  In the bar last week, me and my friend were invited over by two attractive young things. Happily drinking at a steady pace and playing dice when one of the girl's 'friends' comes in. I'm talking fat, old, married bald guy with money kind of friend. So I offer him a glass of our beer. Of course he challenges me to down it. And again. And again. And again. I'm thinking 'this is my m'kayin' beer! I don't wanna down four in succession like this. I've got five classes tomorrow' To be fair, he was in again on tuesday night and got three pitchers in. I thought I'd try and teach him a lesson by beating him at the 'liang ge hao' game but he royally kicked my ass and that was me gone. It is our duty though Con, you're quite right  |
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Post by Lotus Eater on May 26, 2005 16:57:55 GMT 7
I try to avoid it unless I am with friends - I want to know someone will make certain I get home OK. But somedays you do get stuck and have to follow through. Although the rules around women are more flexible, and we can plead that we don't drink alcohol. EXCEPT now all of my colleagues know that I do, so I am having more difficulty with that one. And the 'darlings' tell everyone they meet that I do, so I get landed.  NB***** And unless it is with close friends I ALWAYS make certain that I lose the competition. It is better for the laowai to lose face on this, believe me!! |
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Post by Mr Nobody on May 27, 2005 9:12:08 GMT 7
How do you win/lose these things? With my kung fu buddies there was never an issue. So i never learned the protocols, just drank or not as I felt like.
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Post by Lotus Eater on May 27, 2005 10:19:08 GMT 7
Make certain you do not finish first - finish your drink last. This is a face thing. I made the mistake once (after a ganbei session with friends the night before where it was OK to win - Aussies are really good at drinking fast - right?) to beat the FAO head at a formal dinner - in front of other people.
Took weeks for us to recover our relationship - neither of us ever drank together again.
Lose lose lose!
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Post by Mr Nobody on May 27, 2005 10:58:15 GMT 7
No worries, I am a pace drinker, not a skuller. Easy to lose. I just raise the glass, salute, sip which the other guy chuggs then put a pathetic and humourous grin of appreciation and go back to the conversation. In fact, I won't skull beer.  |
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Post by hankuh on May 27, 2005 11:37:04 GMT 7
Yeesh! I have had too many, way too many, mornings waking up and thrusting my head inside a wastebasket, spewing chunks and going through the dry heaves before attempting to make it to my morning class. Praying to God that my Alka-Seltzer will work wonders....
School leaders, businessmen, and the general Chinese fat cat hooligan, all wanting to get some face for sending the laowai into convulsions of alchoholic poisoning.
I don't do it anymore. I still get drunk. I enjoy getting drunk, but I don't enjoy being a pawn in some wickedly stupid Chinese-Foreigner, us versus them, drinking match.
I mean, if I still did that, I would probably drink Jack Daniels Whiskey off the floor in front of foreigners, but fortunately, I haven't got to the George Stage yet, as you all know.
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Post by Lotus Eater on May 27, 2005 16:54:37 GMT 7
With ganbeis Mr N you are obliged to show them the empty glass. And while it is happening - THAT is the conversation. Avoid at all costs getting into this and if you do get stuck - lose - best advice.
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Post by Mr Nobody on May 27, 2005 17:04:21 GMT 7
I will.
Thanks.
Can I just sip and smile, and say no?
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Post by Lotus Eater on May 27, 2005 18:06:13 GMT 7
You can try - but this is part of the overwhelming hospitality that will come your way in China. There will be official hospitality and friends hospitality - the first is not wise to turn down,  the second you will not want to. As I said before - women have it easier in this regard, until someone is stupid enough to invite colleagues to parties and proceed to drink with some little abandon - amazing your Chinese colleagues, especially the other women there  who will immediately tell everyone they come across - including total strangers when you are at banquets that they have seen you drink with the best of them!!  |
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Post by George61 on May 27, 2005 20:25:24 GMT 7
You lie, like a pig in poo, YG.
I have never yet stooped so low.
I reign supreme at Chinese dinner parties!
I hate drinking beer so fast, though....makes me burp something fierce!
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Post by MK on May 28, 2005 16:52:20 GMT 7
I went to a chinese wedding, and the groom has a 'team' of ganbei-ers to help him out with his drinking duties. I was on the team, and as the only foreigner I was pretty much nominated every time. I must have ganbei-ed at leat fifty times that noght. then we went on to a bar crawl... ...hey, I can't find the puking smiley! |
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Post by Sixerfan on May 30, 2005 20:05:38 GMT 7
Is there a way to refuse baijiu? I wouldn't mind the ganbei if beer/red wine/tequilla/JD was an option, but baijiu makes me want to drink toilet bowl cleaner.
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Post by Mr Nobody on May 30, 2005 20:18:42 GMT 7
People want to know.
Me too. Funny, though, baijiao is just this mild booze stuff.
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Post by George61 on May 30, 2005 20:49:22 GMT 7
Depends on the quality. The top-notch stuff is as smooth as silk, while the stuff you peasants drink is rotgut!
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Post by con's fly is open on May 30, 2005 21:43:02 GMT 7
Is there a way to refuse baijiu? I wouldn't mind the ganbei if beer/red wine/tequilla/JD was an option, but baijiu makes me want to drink toilet bowl cleaner. Excellent question, and key survival issue. You have to tell the first folks you meet, well ahead of any drinking situation, that you are allergic to baijiu, and would be stuck in bed/hospital for days if you partook. Me, they allowed me to pass and drink pijiu instead after some nasty behaviour of mine one night convinced them I wasn't bluffing about the allergy. Gin does the same thing. Try the "Chinese are normal but laowai are deficient as it pertains to baijiu" angle. And good luck. |
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Crippler
Barfly
Beware the conspiracy!
Posts: 345
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Post by Crippler on May 31, 2005 10:28:15 GMT 7
I have been very fortunate that I am 60 and can use that excuse. I generally end up with folks who are either 20+ years younger or 10 years older. SOmetimes mixed. THe 70+ folks are generally light drinkers (maybe that is why they are still alive) and I just tell the young pups that I did my share of ganbei in my youth. I can say that truthfully. SO when challenged I simply say that the challenger must drink 3:1 to make things even and they generally abide. Only time I have entered into the game honestly, I was still standing after they went down. They were not close friends so the fact that I was never invited by them again was not important.
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Post by Mr Nobody on May 31, 2005 11:22:23 GMT 7
make sense
just plede old
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