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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 21:43:59 GMT 7
I am more than just Raoul, you know. Like Aragorn of Arathorn, I have many names. I am also Mr. Suzhou...sort of like an unofficial goodwill ambassador to the good things that Suzhou has to offer. It's part of my job to point out to people living in places like Dashiqiao, Liaoning or Bumfuq, Anhui just how sad, tawdry and miserable your lives there really are. Therefore it is with great sadness that I must relate to you that as I type this with my right hand, my left hand is busy operating a large Supreme pizza from our new Papa John's outlet. It was delivered steaming hot to my door by a friendly, semi-English-speaking young entrepreneur. The thin crust is cracker-crisp, and it's got a genuine decent pizza sauce, tons of cheese, and a huge load of toppings. It came with the usual PJ accoutrements of pickled hot peppers and garlic butter for dipping the crusts. The thing is m'kaying enormous so I suppose some of it will have to be reserved for lunch tomorrow. The rumors seem to be true: Papa John's in China is about a thousand times better than it is in the USA. (In America, Papa John's is a place to go if you have 5 children and need to feed them on a budget...) This is some of the best pizza I've found in China. Boy, this sure is good. And my relating it has nothing to do with the jobs I need to fill, or my efforts to extract a certain person from his home in the frozen sticks and get him down here to The Good End.  I fight dirty.  |
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Post by con's fly is open on Aug 7, 2005 22:08:42 GMT 7
Oh, I hate you so much.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 22:10:25 GMT 7
So, it worked then. |
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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 22:17:34 GMT 7
Would it help if I mentioned that the pizza came with coupons for free cheese-breadsticks next time?  |
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Post by con's fly is open on Aug 7, 2005 22:43:49 GMT 7
The pizza place I patronized last year closed while I was away (guess my business kept it open). ihad one at Xing Long Mall last week, and it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever put in my mouth. But today the cook made jiaozi. From scratch. I had homemade jiaozi, and you didn't. Suck on that, wise guy.  |
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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 23:03:59 GMT 7
I had those for lunch at the neighborhood DongBei restaurant.  |
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Post by CarryAnn on Aug 7, 2005 23:06:36 GMT 7
There is a karmic god thingummy - that is the best news I've had all day.
Sit tight Papa John, Mama's coming.
Hang on - Papa John 's not like Pizza Hut crap is it - cos a lot of Americans think that's pretty good and, well - it really isn't.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 23:12:15 GMT 7
Both restaurants are better here than in the USA. Neither will be the best pizza you've ever had in the world, but for China they're respectable. PJ tonight was MUCH better than PH. Be nice to Raoul, Baby, and maybe someday he'll take you to Una's, whose owner made pizza in Oz for years before coming back to Shanghai....  |
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Post by CarryAnn on Aug 7, 2005 23:21:12 GMT 7
I knew I was being sent to Suzhou for a reason. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah for I have seen the Pepsi Light and Papa John's.
Name your price*. You are my God.
*do you take credit cards, personal cheques and promises?
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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 23:24:47 GMT 7
No, but terms are negotiable. Stay open-minded.  I also want to offer you a good part-time job if I can. Send me yer resume. No, this is a teaching job. |
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Post by con's fly is open on Aug 7, 2005 23:24:55 GMT 7
Back in collgege, my buddy dragged me to Pizza Hut's Manic Mondays promotion. All you can eat for a nominal fee.
It was pretty crowded when we arrived, so we ended up with the one booth they wished they could leave empty: the one with a clear view of the kitchen. We watched as they dropped frozen pizzas into a deep fryer. The way they do it in old Napoli.
The waitresses were running their asses off, and the pizza kept coming along. it wasn't the worst pizza ever (that priae is shared jointly by a place in Swift Current Saskatchewan and Xing Long Mall right here in Dashiqiao), but I'm giving it the brinze medal for blasphemy.
Now, it was all you can eat, so we were deterfmined to get our money's worth. I chowed down like an Ethiopian. When we were full (and by full I mean in physical pain), we called for one more round of cokes: by now the pizza dough was sucked all the fluid out of our bodies. My blood was chalk at this point.
On the way to the car, the pop hit the dough in my stomach: the dough absorbed the liquid and expanded... we couldn't put our seatbelts on because we were incapable of bending at the waist. I don't know how Hermann drove like that.
To this day, the words "Pizza Hut" make me instantly crave a salad and water.
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Post by CarryAnn on Aug 7, 2005 23:36:32 GMT 7
Oh you can Raoul. Now lemme see ... which one do you want... I've got crack whore, middle class mum I mean domestic manager, brainiac or... wait a minute, you said teaching job right, so that would be ... ah, it's here somewhere - yep...professional smartarse.
I'll Pm it to ya tomorra after i run the spellchekka over it.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Aug 7, 2005 23:51:41 GMT 7
OK. We can find gainful occupation for all of those talents. ;D
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gengrant
SuperBarfly! 
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Aug 8, 2005 0:18:22 GMT 7
saw that in a SNL skit a while back...worst jobs in the world...Number One worst job was, you guess it...Crack Whore...funny skit...but I guess I can't knock it till I've tried it...you know, the old 'walk a mile in their shoes' bit...  |
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Post by Mr Nobody on Aug 8, 2005 10:02:10 GMT 7
Yeah. As billy connelly said, "at least then, you've got their shoes".  |
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Post by con's fly is open on Aug 8, 2005 12:54:33 GMT 7
Yeah. As billy connelly said, "at least then, you've got their shoes".  ... and a mile's head start. |
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