command performance

[Ruth]

Saturday, Sept 10th is Teachers' Day. There is a school-wide assembly where awards are given to the 'best' (ie need a certificate and bribed the right people) teachers and then there is a show. Last year we were given very little notice that we should perform in the show. We sang a song in English, backed up heavily by the CD player. Then we were told that next year we should do something in Chinese. Now it's 'next year.'

So, it's not like I didn't have notice. It's just that procrastination is my middle name. I have been informed that I should recite a poem, or act, or sing, or dance. Well, dancing, singing and acting are out as far as the talent pool goes. A poem in Chinese is out since I haven't been practicing. I'm debating between a short poem - in English, or singing along to a song (with the music really loud and my microphone really low - again in English. The only song I've learned in Chinese is Jingle Bells and it isn't the season.

Really, the performances are mostly by the students for the teachers, given that it's OUR day. But, the school doesn't demand much from me in the way of PR. So this is really a minor thing, all in all. Except I don't shine in the on-stage talent department.

To heck with it. I just decided while I was typing this to do Jingle Bells. IF my friend can find her CD with the Chinese version on it for me to use as substantial backup.

[Wolf]

You could always forget that you were told to do something in Chinese and then fall back on your best act.

Or you could read a passage from Beowulf in the origional Old English and then tell them all that it was Cantonese/Mandarin/Tibetan/random dialect not spoken in the region. ;D I would so do that if asked to perform in a language that I didn't know.

There's a great bilingual English/Klingon version of Hamlet. You could give them "To be or not to be" in Klingon "Dach Magh, Dach Peh" (ish - don't know how to transliterate Klingon.)

Or you spend a couple of days practicing Sindarin pronunciation and then read the Elven poem from the "Farewell to Lorien" chaper of LoTR. It only takes a couple of days' effort, and once again you can pass it off as random not-spoken-locally dialect.

Or you could just lip synch along to random authentic Chinese song.

Heck, now I want to be in your show.

Aw, Ricky, let me be in the show!

[Ruth]

then fall back on your best act

That's the trouble, I don't HAVE a best act. I'm not good at this. There will be almost 3000 high school students sitting on the field and any number of interested townfolk hanging over the fence watching. Give me a group of kids and I can do the 'hokey pokey' or 'head and shoulders' for as long as my energy lasts. But high schoolers? Last year the other 9 acts actually had talent. We're up there, not by choice or because we have a certifiable talent, but because we are the FTs. Which does give me license to do just about anything I want.

So - "Ding ding dang, Ding ding dang, ling er xiang ding dang" it is. How many months till Christmas? It's not even a real Christmas song. Put some bells on a donkey cart and we could get away with this.

[Hamish]

Hmmmmm.

I never say yes to this kind of stuff.

"No. Thanks. I don't do that."

[Jollyjunklass]

LOL, Good luck Ruth, glad I'm not in your shoes but sure I may be at some point. Get sick quick!

[Stil]

Saturday I plan to be a long way from my school. When my FAO calls and tells me about some event 5 minutes before it happens, I will be able tell him how dissapointed I am that I can't be back in time and that I really would have liked to attend.

[hankuh]

If my FAO phones to tell me to do a command performance for Teachers' Day, I will simply say, "What in the hell do you think I do the rest of the days I teach?"

[Wolf]

Well, I hope it goes well. 3000 students? That's nearly the entire population of my hometown. Best of luck, then, and let us know how it goes.

(Pssst. Oh, George ... reindeer are common in Finland and appear in a certain Finnish epic ... .) ;D

[George61]

(Pssst. Oh, George ... reindeer are common in Finland and appear in a certain Finnish epic

I've got a norsty feeling about this.

[Wolf]

george61 said:

I've got a norsty feeling about this.

Sorry. I'll try to rein it in a bit. Dear.

[Mr Nobody]

By the beard of St Nicholas! You certainly make your presents felt. Haven't you got a gnome to go to? Well, even if you don't, you'll be OK as long as you've got your elf.

[George61]

I'm thinkin, I'm thinkin.

I'm also washing the dishes.

[acjade]

Back to thread. I know what you're going through, Ruth. We have the big mid-autumn festival on the 18th.
The Xi'an radio station and Xi'an TV sponsers the event and we have the performers from both media trailblazing the performances. The FT's have been invited to perform.

Get ready for the Chinglish Chicks plus 2.

We've decided to perform a melody of National Anthems then follow with the best of Abba.
Our big finale will be ....Moon River.

[Mr Nobody]

With the dropping of the pants scene as you walk off stage?

[acjade]

No. We open with that.

[Mr Nobody]

Mooning at the Autumn Moon Festival? I like it!

[Wolf]

I suppose the rest of the act is made up "on the fly" then.