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Post by joe on Apr 12, 2006 22:32:56 GMT 7
Ladies and Jellybeans, something I have been pondering of late: ease, rest, respite. I work like an idiot -- 25 sixty minute hours a week, week in, week out. I'm not particularly socially adept so I don't know many people. I have fun at work with colleagues, more so lately since I'm way past the hump, the one where you get accustomed to the timetable and the lessons, but otherwise I'm a night person who stays at home. I figure I need a break. Can there be one? A while back I put up something about cowboys and homesteaders. It seems one of the perils of taking the job seriously but not finding a place in a community is burn out. If I keep moving around looking for work, I'm not part of a community. But some years ago I originally started moving around exactly because I was part of a community. It was good but it wasn't a community that was going to see me get better at my job. I'm starting to think that community is a warts-and-all prospect. They include limitations, but they are the only places to be. It's wierd, really. Here I am, a foreigner working in China, hoping to find a home. If home is where the heart is, I suppose one must put ones heart into the home. Forgive the rambling and obscure nature of this post. I have for the first time in my life started to feel old.     |
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Post by George61 on Apr 13, 2006 3:56:18 GMT 7
That's a baaad thing to do. NEVER feel old! It'll give you grey hair.
Joe, sometimes I reckon you can do too much thinking. Better to "seize the day" as they say in Latin.
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Ruth
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Post by Ruth on Apr 13, 2006 9:34:16 GMT 7
Joe, I'm not sure of your situation, and I'm sure mine is very different from yours, but we both find ourselves teaching in an alien land. I think you are dead-on about putting one's heart into a home if you want it to be a home. This will be different for every person. What makes a home 'home' for me will not be the same as what makes a home 'home' for you. I also agree with you that community is a warts-and-all prospect. Kinda like life here at the Saloon (you figure out who the warts are  . You take the good with the bad. If the good outweighs the bad by some indefinable measurement, then you've got something worth hanging on to. You are working awfully hard. Any way to cut back, or at least have a holiday? Is where you are where you want to stay for awhile? And what George said about feeling old. Don't go there. Reflection isn't a bad thing, though. |
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woza17
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Post by woza17 on Apr 13, 2006 10:26:27 GMT 7
Joe that was a lovely heartfelt post. I really don't know what to say Home to me is when you feel comfortable and relaxed with your environment. I lived in Scotland for 5 years and I never ever really felt at home there. I have more in common with Chinese people than the Scots but the Glaswegians were very lovely can be fiesty though.
As for old I look old but I don't feel old. I teach 37 hours a week have been known to do 45. I really don't have any outside interests so I might as well work.
On my bi-polar days I feel I can get these buggers to speak English just by force of my personality.
Joe you should post more often, I really look forward to your posts
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Post by acjade on Apr 13, 2006 10:38:22 GMT 7
Community is more than just a place to feel at home, Joe.
I'm an at home person more than a socialiser and I truly enjoy pottering about the house. But as John Donne said, ' No man is an Island'.
We all need other people and we hear what you're saying.
Perhaps your not getting enough feedback from all your hard work. Teaching requires feedback and not of the ego-gratifying kind - although that can be okay it doesn't help you to feel the deeper sense of accomplishment which comes from colleagues and standardised exams.
My little geographical community consists of the local green grocer and the man who drives the FA bus and the kid and his family.
I think you're a deep thinker and deep thinkers often dig themselves into metaphysical holes that are periods of angst and alienation. Are you coming to Su zhou?
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Post by Norbert Radd on Apr 13, 2006 10:42:19 GMT 7
I think it's: You're as old as you feel.
Work on what you think can help you and learn how to get out of your head, i.e., watch a DVD, read a good book, or run 5K listening to the Trainspotting sound track.
Stay healthy, physically and mentally. Don't worry about the age thing. It doesn't matter as long as you can get stuff done.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Apr 13, 2006 16:41:43 GMT 7
And you're not exactly alone in Suzhou. Less'n of course you want to be.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Apr 13, 2006 16:58:40 GMT 7
What's an "old"?
Never take yourself seriously. It's ok to take the job seriously, or anything else, but if you take yourself seriously, no one else will.
Space, the inner frontier.
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woza17
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Post by woza17 on Apr 13, 2006 18:44:07 GMT 7
Mr N you are such a Saggitarius. Animal from the waist down and philosopher from the waist up
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Post by Stil on Apr 13, 2006 20:41:48 GMT 7
I'm starting to think that community is a warts-and-all prospect. They include limitations, but they are the only places to be. It's wierd, really. Here I am, a foreigner working in China, hoping to find a home. If home is where the heart is, I suppose one must put ones heart into the home. That's exactly right Joe. Sometimes the glass is half-empty sometimes it's half-full. It's all in how you look at it and remember the girls that tell you that you look young, handsome etc. are telling the the truth. The ones that say you are fat, ugly etc are lying little bints. This has been my experience anyway. Bar keep, top up Joe's pint ai? |
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gengrant
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Post by gengrant on Apr 13, 2006 23:18:31 GMT 7
as am I...  Joe...gotta find yer inner Peter Pan, dude...don't ever get old like the grownups...sucks the life outta ya...  |
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Non-Dave
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Post by Non-Dave on Apr 14, 2006 9:20:47 GMT 7
There's something in what you folks have said for all of us - thanks for the reminder! I have been having a feeling old spell lately too, but have just decided not to. Ta.
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Crippler
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Post by Crippler on Apr 14, 2006 11:00:36 GMT 7
Old, hell that is reserved for other people. Me, I am eternally young!  |
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Post by joe on Apr 14, 2006 13:19:23 GMT 7
Old is when you think all your stupid mistakes are starting to catch you up. I used to be that the stupid things I did left me in good health and strong enough. These days in China it seems like every new place is little more than the same old mistakes waiting to happen. Apropos of nothing: Puss N Boots.  Raoul's. Where you can still catch a cat. |
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Post by joe on Apr 14, 2006 13:44:14 GMT 7
I love my bike. I don't care if it rains. I don't care if it's cold. I don't care if people stare.  I'm done with the donkey suit tho. No balance. |
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Post by icebear on Apr 14, 2006 14:00:30 GMT 7
Joe...gotta find yer inner Peter Pan, dude... I think you can find him in a bottle of Jose. |
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Post by con's fly is open on Apr 14, 2006 19:35:38 GMT 7
Joe, I have weeks like this. To tell the truth, about a third of them. You can always sit back and take stock, try to figure out what's missing in your life, but I couldn't have any pat advice for that.
Try thinking small: a breath of fresh air. Schedule Something Completely Different: wander around a university campus, or pop into Shanghai and hit some place you read about in the paper. Doing something out of the ordinary will make you feel like you're actually living, even if you conclude "well, that sucked." Being enslaved by your routine, without the movelty of new experiences or hman contact, will eventually make ANYONE start feeling the approaching grave.
I'm trying to take my own advice these days. It takes effort to get out and do something new- it's inconvenient. I'm prone to getting into a stale rut and then feeling like I'm dying.
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Post by uberzilla on Apr 17, 2006 6:49:59 GMT 7
I checked this on a lark. Forgive me in advance...I had to lighten things up a little. Before I get to that I will give a serious response. The answer for you situation is internal, not external. That is kind of brief but it is the truth, and it is something only you can do.  Ok now for some silliness... ;D That's a baaad thing to do. NEVER feel old! It'll give you grey hair. I sometimes feel centuries old. Don't worry about it. Grey hair smey hair. Old toothless chicks dig it.  I also agree with you that community is a warts-and-all prospect. Kinda like life here at the Saloon (you figure out who the warts are .  Any way to cut back, or at least have a holiday? Funny...holidays always make it worse for me. It gives me the solitude I like. Then I have to go back. OK that was a serious response...ignore it.  Joe that was a lovely heartfelt post. Joe you should post more often, I really look forward to your posts Woza, I really, really want to poke fun at this. You know in a fun loving manly way that really pisses women off. But I won't......  That's exactly right Joe. Sometimes the glass is half-empty sometimes it's half-full. It's all in how you look at it and remember the girls that tell you that you look young, handsome etc. are telling the the truth. The ones that say you are fat, ugly etc are lying little bints. This has been my experience anyway. Bar keep, top up Joe's pint ai?  as am I... Joe...gotta find yer inner Peter Pan, dude...don't ever get old like the grownups...sucks the life outta ya...  I am not much for the Peter Pan analogy but good response man. When people refer to growing up there usually mean becoming cynical and compromising. Crap serious again.  Mr N you are such a Saggitarius. Animal from the waist down and philosopher from the waist up Hmm I think I am the opposite ;D |
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Post by joe on Apr 18, 2006 21:52:21 GMT 7
Mr N you are such a Saggitarius. Animal from the waist down and philosopher from the waist up Hmm I think I am the opposite ;D I'm philosopher all the way through. It's how we get our muscles.  |
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Post by Lotus Eater on Apr 19, 2006 9:06:25 GMT 7
I try to convince my students and Chinese friends that energy begets energy. They still figure that to get energy you need to sleep during the day. They wake up loggy and slow. I am pleased I don't teach of an afternoon.
I think this applies to everything - aloneness begets more aloneness, concentrating on pain gives you more pain. Therefore the reverse also applies.
Even the warts on the community front can provide a level of comfort - they are expected, adapted to and managed. Community is creatable - and doesn't necessarily mean you have to stay put for the rest of your life. You can take community building skills with you - and immediately create a new community wherever you go.
But it is your energy that is required to create your community - no-one is going to give it to us on a plate. Once you have created that community, I find people then tend to invite you to their communities - thus expanding yours. Community creates community!
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Post by cheekygal on Apr 19, 2006 14:15:01 GMT 7
Men Sagittarians are, woza. We, Sagittarian women, are vice-versa  |
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woza17
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Post by woza17 on Apr 19, 2006 22:13:31 GMT 7
Cheekygirl, Iam trying to get my head around that, so my great ideas and fleeting thoughts of the greater universe are in my crotch and I look like a horse. m'kay that
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Post by icebear on Apr 19, 2006 23:59:12 GMT 7
Good post Lotus. In my current situation, procrastination begets more procrastination on this damn senior project. At the same time, more fun in the sun begets...
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Post by Mr Nobody on Apr 30, 2006 6:49:03 GMT 7
I love my bike. I don't care if it rains. I don't care if it's cold. I don't care if people stare. I'm done with the donkey suit tho. No balance. This just cracked me up. |
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. You take the good with the bad. If the good outweighs the bad by some indefinable measurement, then you've got something worth hanging on to. You are working awfully hard. Any way to cut back, or at least have a holiday? Is where you are where you want to stay for awhile?
