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Post by Lotus Eater on Oct 22, 2006 0:40:05 GMT 7
I would still vote for stay - the experiences she has here, plus her knowledge of Chinese will stand her in good stead for the rest of her life. This is an adventure and she is lucky to have a parent willing to give it to her.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Oct 22, 2006 8:30:10 GMT 7
Yeah, with Open Foundation, nothing is lost. I think the experience and Chinese will be good, too.
I say, go for it. Plus, if she is a bit behind for NZ, but is probably a bit ahead for China, maybe that would explain her reluctance. Going from the top of the class to the bottom wouldn't be encouraging.
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Ruth
SuperDuperMegaBarfly
God's provisions are strategically placed along the path of your obedience.
Posts: 3,915
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Post by Ruth on Oct 22, 2006 12:07:40 GMT 7
MY plans for my son were that he attend and graduate university. He started. And quit. And started again. And quit again. And one more round. Finally told me that he didn't want to be in school and he couldn't live up to my expectations. Broke my heart, but what could I do? He has to live his own life. And he is.
On the other hand, I dropped out of university and broke my mother's heart. Finally went back when I was 40. Choices we all make and your daughter will make hers - whether you are in China or NZ.
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Post by Vegemite on Oct 22, 2006 13:35:45 GMT 7
Thanks for the input...I'm finding it a hard decision to make. I think Open Foundation is the better option but, on the other hand, what makes me worry is that she's missing out on all the 'normal' teenagery socialisation things that she'd be doing back in good ol' NZ.... which I know would be driving me mad...
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Post by Dragonsaver on Oct 22, 2006 14:38:17 GMT 7
Thanks for the input...I'm finding it a hard decision to make. I think Open Foundation is the better option but, on the other hand, what makes me worry is that she's missing out on all the 'normal' teenagery socialisation things that she'd be doing back in good ol' NZ.... which I know would be driving me mad... Yes, you have to make the decision, but what does SHE want to do?? Does she miss the teenage socialisation? Or do you miss what you had as a teenager and think she wants the same??? What does she want to do when she finishes her education?? Life experience, which is what she is getting now is worth its weight in gold. If she wants to stay in China, see if there is some way to get her to take the courses. However, if you go back, and you put her back into the 'school system' will she work?? Will she just fritter away the days daydreaming?? It would be a pity for you to go back only to find out she won't go to school anyhow. Just food for thought. My 16yr old grandaughter left home as soon as she turned 16 because she didn't like the home-life and rules etc. She is still going to school and will graduate this year. She plans on joining the Cdn armed forces as soon as she finishes high school. She has 5 years of Sea Cadets so is very familiar with the military. Your daughter is the key to your problem!! You must find out what she really wants. It is her life and ultimately she will do what she wants anyhow.
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Post by Lotus Eater on Oct 22, 2006 15:00:30 GMT 7
My number 3 daughter took one look at her high achieving sisters (double degrees both of them with honours, government jobs with good promotions etc), at her parents - I have 3 degrees including a masters, Dad has post-grad diplomas as well as his 2 undergrad degrees, we both have other tertiary qualifications, and went "No way Jose". Can you imagine the impact that had on all of us? Dropped out of high school part-way through her last year. She is now - 7 years later - back at university, having won a scholarship and working full-time. We can't live their lives for them, we can only give them opportunities. If you love it here, and you know she'll hate being back at school - you will resent missing out on being here, and at the same time be fighting her to keep her going - which may or may not work. I can't see this doing your relationship any good. Offer to send her back to family in NZ if she wants to return, or let her stay here and take the Open Foundations stuff - and you may want to slow it down a bit. Let her develop her interests her way and in the end she will choose a good path for herself. Don't worry about lost 'potential' she will find it herself when the time is right. Don't worry too much about normal teenage socialising. She is learning to operate in a far wider world - even if it looks pretty narrow where you are. Can she start socialising with some of the local students? Her Chinese will improve incredibly, she will live and see a way different way of life, and you never know which attitudes will rub off on her! See if she can get a part-time jopb teaching English in one of the local language mills - she might enjoy the challenge and she may also decide that studying is way better than working. (Or heaven help her - decide to become an ESL teacher!)
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Post by con's fly is open on Oct 22, 2006 17:41:13 GMT 7
Veg, isn't there some online/correspondence option for your daughter? A lot of folks who hate school (like me), don't so much mind the 3 R's so much as being in a classroom, within a glorified detention center. Maybe she should try one course, just in case it's her cup of tea.
If this is the only reason to go back, maybe this will solve everything.
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Post by Vegemite on Oct 23, 2006 19:18:56 GMT 7
Thanks for all the input...I'll keep you informed about what happens.
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Post by kcanuck on Oct 23, 2006 20:42:55 GMT 7
My fourteen year old son had absolutely no desire in joining me on this adventure. I miss him terribly but I also realize that he would not have adjusted very well to life here...no xbox, no mtv, no buddies to hang out with...he would have said 'it sucks.' It was a matter of do I stay or do I go and I chose to go partly because I knew if I waited any longer I might not ever get round to doing it. I am happy to report that despite moving to a new life in a new city and starting high school without knowing a soul worked out remarkably well. He's spending some much needed time with his dad (who was not around very much during the past six years) and the boys are making up for lost father/son time. And he is fortunate in that his stepmom is ok. He is looking forward to spending next summer with me and I can't wait to see him. He's changing so quickly on the photos, looking more like a man every day. I would in a heartbeat let him stay if he wanted to, the experience gained here far outweighs standard high school fare. I suspect that wont be the case, he'll come and visit and think 'cool,' but will be wanting to return to his familiar surroundings once summer is over. As for his heading to uni immediately after high school... I will not be pushing the issue. I am a firm believer in going when the time is right. When I went back to school in my mid 30s I saw far too many kids in post secondary just because their parents wanted them to be with no clue as to what they really wanted to do.
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Post by George61 on Oct 23, 2006 23:21:59 GMT 7
Sounds like China!!
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Post by Missi on Oct 24, 2006 5:42:08 GMT 7
you never know. Once you son gets here he may just change his mind.
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Post by Vegemite on Oct 24, 2006 8:50:14 GMT 7
you never know. Once you son gets here he may just change his mind. Yep, and that'll keep my daughter happy (and me happier) 'cos she'll have a wider social circle I agree about Uni being their choice. I went too young, got into heaps of trouble and dropped out, returned years later as a more mature adult and enjoyed it. What I do want my daughter to get though, is a High School qualification. My main worry is that staying here will mean she won't finish High School...jobs will be that much harder for her to get with no qualifications...which is why I think an Open Foundation Course will be the best bet. I will check out Correspondence Courses again. Prior to coming here I contacted the NZ School and got no response. Gave up in the end and joined her up to an on-line NZ Learning Centre, but that hasn't worked that well either.
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Post by con's fly is open on Oct 24, 2006 22:32:01 GMT 7
Veg, I first came to China when I was 19, with my father. I never forgot it, and umpteen years later moved here. Your son would have a blast in this country.
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Post by kcanuck on Oct 25, 2006 5:08:34 GMT 7
Nope Con, the son is mine (kcanuck) I'm the other hot mom laowai posted in Hailaer with Vegemite. I am hoping against hope that he will want to stay. My other option is to continue teaching in China until he finishes high school and then he can spend a year here with me. Only problem is, at some point I have to decide whether to return home and become the once responsible adult I was (job, mortgage, commute...) or stay here. I would truly love to stay but I'm not sure if I could/should. My background is not in teaching and if I stay away from my field too long I may not be able to return to it. My former employer has promised me a job when I return but I doubt that means ten years from now. I'm 42 now, realistically if I return home I should do it before I hit 45. My son won't finish high school for another four years.
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Post by Dragonsaver on Oct 25, 2006 7:47:16 GMT 7
Only problem is, at some point I have to decide whether to return home and become the once responsible adult I was (job, mortgage, commute...) or stay here. I would truly love to stay but I'm not sure if I could/should. Save some money now and stay until you retire. However, having a mortgage now allows you to retire without a worry. It is hard to qualify for a mortgage without a 'real' job. You are fortunate that he wants you back. I agree once you are out of your 'field' for too long other companies don't want you. However, you could always come back once the 'real world' decides you are too old like they did with me!! I am here because I can't find work in my field in Canada. Too old!! (62)
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Post by Vegemite on Oct 27, 2006 10:44:49 GMT 7
So Con how long were you here with your father all those years ago? How did that experience change you (warp you)? Had you already finished High School by then? Did you visit other places in your youth?
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Post by Mr Nobody on Oct 27, 2006 20:35:35 GMT 7
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
(... and I noticed the "unofficial Oz National Anthem" quote at the bottom of your post, too. "Say, man, you tryin' to tempt me?")
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Post by con's fly is open on Oct 28, 2006 4:28:00 GMT 7
We were here for one month. I did little other travelling, so maybe that's why China stuck with me.
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Post by Vegemite on Oct 29, 2006 11:02:09 GMT 7
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Excuse me - Kiwi inquisition... but yes, dui bu qi... it does sound like an inquisition, sorry. Just got excited thinking of someone who saw China through young(er) eyes - someone closer in age to my daughter. Have decided though, am going to renew my contract until the end of next semester. Everyone's advice was a great help. It helped me see the big picture. I think I'm doing her a greater service exposing her to this life than returning to NZ and plugging her back into the High School system. She swears she'll go to a Foundation Course and get a High School qualification that way. She's bright so she knows that life without finishing High School will be tough... Once again - thanks for the input. Now, we just have to get Kcannuck's son to decide to stay when he comes visiting...that'll make my daughter even more happier. ;D
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teleplayer
Barfly
Ni3 you3 hen3 duo1 qian2. Gei3 wo3 yi4dian(r)3 ba.
Posts: 541
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Post by teleplayer on Oct 30, 2006 0:50:56 GMT 7
Ah, ZhongGuo's already rubbing off on you....already making plans to make an arrangement with the other parent for children. Just teasing, but....
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Post by kcanuck on Oct 30, 2006 5:27:42 GMT 7
Wode erzi is just a babe in the woods compared to Vegemite's daughter. It's definetely a case of girls maturing faster than boys this time. I suspect that having been away from him for a year and being able to do some travelling together might result in a positive change in the dynamics from the old mother son relationship. And may I just say, YEAH, Vegemite is staying, she's a grand lass and my bestest drinking buddy.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Oct 30, 2006 8:30:27 GMT 7
Wooohoooo! Glad you are staying.
No need to apologize, Vegie, I was joking. As in Nobody, that's me, and I like python. Probably wasn't a very funny joke, anyway. I only do them because they amuse,
Me.
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Post by Vegemite on Nov 1, 2006 7:35:40 GMT 7
Ah, ZhongGuo's already rubbing off on you....already making plans to make an arrangement with the other parent for children. Just teasing, but.... Well, you haven't seen a photo of the son...plus he's Kcannuck's son so obviously from an okayish gene pool. And even more of a plus, Kcannuck would then be my daughter's mum-in-law. What more could I want? True love for my daughter? huh! If this doesn't work, maybe the next ESL stop could be India.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Nov 3, 2006 22:27:44 GMT 7
deary deary me.
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Post by acjade on Nov 11, 2006 10:30:13 GMT 7
I teach ankle biters on Mondays as well as a posse of Chinese English teachers who are meant to learn Western techniques by observing the classes. It took me one lesson to train the teachers not to translate. Ever.
The secret with kids is to have a clear objective, a ball, a beanbag and a bag of sweets. Little kids have almost zero concentration spans so you have to give them lots of reinforcement activities,action songs and games interspersed with what you're teaching.
Children love comedy so if you can get them laughing you'll be half way there. Pantomime is great. The Three Little Pigs works well and is easy to teach.
Children also love secrets so have a variety of mystery bags/boxes/socks and jars full of jellybeans or buttons or marbles anything you can think of. Keep them guessing through the lesson and then reveal the mystery just before it's time to recap the lesson content.
Two other days a week I teach PHD students at a public university. These guys are really smart puppies and the second hour of the class we have a quizz which involves them working as a team and communicating with each other in English. No Putonghua. No electronic dictionaries. The quizz questions are all related to the units of work we cover and makes them use the speech patterns in ways they can utilise immediately.
This has become enormously popular and the people who come to the classes without being registered have formed their own teams although I don't communicate with them or award them points. The winning team by the end of the semester wins an evening at my house.
I don't get homesick. Home is where you fall into bed and thank the Lord for another crazy day.
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