The T Qing of English

[burlives]

I don't know how to teach English.

Though I do endeavour to teach something and have worked out a program, I don't know what I should teach.

Now, I've worked at five Chinese schools and the process in Speaking class is often the same: the kids initially are puzzled; later or perhaps immediately they complain to the leaders; some time later, about halfway through the semester, there is some kind of crisis and my authority is significantly challenged in some way by the class; this crisis is resolved, usually in one or two lessons, and usually by some direct dialogue; and later still people start coming to me to explain that they didn't understand at first but now they like the classes and look forward to more.

I sometimes wonder if all that is necessary. Maybe there is something to teach which fits both the expectations and the needs of the students.

Currently I also have this fact to consider: last semester I taught a writing program to four classes where each class had more than 50 students, and these lessons were a success in as much as the students did as I asked them, demonstrated respect by attending to my words, and steadily improved the quality of their written output in the terms I set. I had a lot of fun and the lessons regularly included jokes shared with the students. Attendance stayed high despite classes never including a roll-call. The same program has fallen into disarray at my current school. Essentially this is because from the beginning the students have not listened when I have spoken. Perhaps bizarrely, they still obey when I set them actual writing tasks -- they put their heads down and write. But because they rarely listen to my words I suspect they have no sense of a value in what I ask them to do -- I haven't been able to tell them.

Either way I am still lost on one point: what should I be teaching? What do they need from me? Mostly I have made up a program that suits my interests and what I think it appropriate that a university student anywhere know. So the foundation of the program is not really ESL and that bugs me.

[Hamish]

Burl said:

I don't know how to teach English.... what should I be teaching? What do they need from me? Mostly I have made up a program that suits my interests and what I think it appropriate that a university student anywhere know. So the foundation of the program is not really ESL and that bugs me.

No one does, actually.

For what it is worth, and I demand the full retail price for the following revelation, here is my program.

The reality is, I meet my students for 80 minutes a week.

80 minutes.

Each week, I get 80 minutes.

That’s it.

This is what I tell ‘em, over and over.

1. You are living with English majors in the dorm.
2. Get up in the morning and say “good morning.” Don’t speak a word of Chinese.
3. Talk with your friends in English every moment of every day.
4. If you can’t think of the proper word in English, look it up in the Chinese – English Dictionary I will buy for you to carry at all times if you can’t afford one. The fact that you don’t know a word you need is an indication that the proper time has arrived for you to learn it. One learns vocabulary by using words at the time one needs them in ordinary life.
5. Listen to BBC and VOA on the radio I will give you to carry at all times if you cannot afford one. NEVER spend any time listening to Chinese language broadcasts. You have no time to listen to Chinese. You only have what is left to you depending on your class to prepare for the “Further Ed.” Exam. That preparation will take every waking moment of your young life for you to have any hope of success.
6. NEVER watch a Chinese film and, PARTICULARLY, NEVER watch an English language film with Chinese subtitles. If the film is in English, without English subtitles, watch and listen. NEVER watch a film with Chinese language or subtitles or I WILL HAVE YOU SHOT!
7. Come to the English Lounge I have talked the college into starting and read English, hear English, speak English, watch films in English and wallow in English every free moment you have.
8. If you do the seven things above, I may be able to help you during the 80 minutes we have together. If you do not do them, go back to the village and pick corn. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE.

[MK]

I just use a textbook.

[burlives]

I tried that once. Even text books need you to know what you are teaching. Chinese text books especially.

Lord, was that a disaster, teaching from a book! I couldn't summon any feeling for the lessons. I didn't get why just speaking would be valuable.

I find again and again that Chinese students need some relationship with the man before they will accept the teacher

[Hamish]

Burl said:

I find again and again that Chinese students need some relationship with the man before they will accept the teacher

IMHO that is true of all students, everywhere, all the time.

[burlives]

It wasn't true of me. Pre-post-graduate, the only time I knew anything about a teacher was when I dated the girl he had had first. Even then I didn't learn much.

But in studying my enduring memeory is that I always learned for myself.

[Hamish]

Burl said:

But in studying my enduring memeory is that I always learned for myself.

I guess that means you never accepted a teacher?

Bummer.

[burlives]

I suppose.

My teachers were always weird. There was the Art teacher who coached rugby. The monk who taught history. The anorexic Literature teacher. The Math teacher who wore the tightest trousers he could buy and still found time to enquire into the contents of his pockets. The kid who wore Afghan jackets and had bangs and didn't know I read porno in class. The mother to everyone who knew I was watching her skirt as she walked up the stairs way back in grade five.

What did I know, I was just a kid.

[Lager]

So youre talking about teachers now as opposed to profs right? School teachers.

I had two memorable ones--Wild Bill and Mudsucker.

Mudsucker was a junior high French teacher who simply could get no respect. He wore glasses and a toupee and was pudgy. He would pound his fists and scream at us like the drill sargeant in Full Metal Jacket. Everyone still laughed at him. Poor guy. Feel sorry for the guy now ---but we were evil kids. And I'm sure he is gone over the edge.

Wild Bill was a different story. He was the "cool" teacher. Wore khakis while the other teachers wore suits. ZHe would also talk about things like marijuana now and then---a subject that actually interested us. He was a confirmed bachelor and would soend every Christmas in England---we could never figure out why--why not? Maybe a footie fan before his time. He would be seen goingto movies by himself and things like that. Did he teach anything? Good question---he was a history teacher and I'm sure some history crept into his classes....But he was very popular.

Where are they now? Perhaps it is Karma of some sort.

[con's fly is open]

I taught a class of 27 kids about to go off to college. I taught 20 classes of 90 minutes each (minus break, so say 80), 5 times a week. By the end I was hard-pressed to come up with something to discuss- 22 classes would have exposed me.
I did teach a follow-up class, but there were only 4 students, so I doubt that would help you. The truth is that I really don't know either. Little kids are easy: sing a song play a game, repeat words and sentences. The older my students got, the less I knew what I was doing. And that helplessness in class is pure Hell.
With 50 students you can't get oral feedback, I suppose. Perhaps you could put one question to all the members of one row, then another to the next row, etc. Force them to voice an opinion. I find that Chinese students enjoy this once they get used to the idea. But getting them used to it takes some old-fashioned bullying.
I hope these nuggets of wisdom helped.

[Wolf]

Pretend to know what you're doing. ;D

And do so in a confident manner. The very first term I taught writing, I had no clue what to do with 60 semi-rebellious teenagers. I hadn't started my formal training (not that a 60+ writing class has ever been covered yet), and had taught classes of neither that size nor specialty before.

In order to keep control, I took a "take charge" attitude.

Think of Star Trek (real Star Trek with Kirk and Picard, not that fake ripoff drivel they've churned out lately.)

When the Enterprise drifted into the Romulan Neutral Zone and Kirk was forced to use the Corbomite bluff, did he know that it would suceed? Of course not. For all he knew the Enterprise was 3 seconds from being toast. But look how he reacted. In charge, even though he had no clue how to save his skin.

When Picard assumed the helm in a last ditch effort to pilot his crippled ship out of a radiation field, did he know for certain that he'd suceed, or even if he was making the right decision? Of course not. But how did he act? In command, that's how.

Think up a long term goal for your class, and stick to your phasers. If things really look like they're going down hill, then invite input, by all means. But always give the impression that you're in charge. The Picard has spoken.

This doesn't mean rule your class like a Klingon Captian would. Just make sure that good old fashioned authority rests where it belongs.

Remember we have two advantages here. 1) In my experience most Chinese students respond positively to teachers who manage a classroom; and 2) they've never even seen Star Trek; meaning you can use even the most over-the-top Shatnerian command speeches and be taken (sort of) seriously. ;D

When classes don't listen at first, get their attention.

I've tried the following with chatty classes of the size you mention:

1. Jump up onto a table on the first row and glare down at the class until they're quiet.

2. Give unalterable bad marks to students who don't pay attention. (This is easier than it sounds. If you're going over, say, how to do a summary in class, and some students don't pay attention, they're unlikely to do well in the inevitable assignmet.)

3. Reduce the class participation mark accordingly. Similarily take attendance.

As a reward for good behavior:

1. Better marks, obviously. Also more leniency for borderline students who obviously put in the effort.

2. If the students as a group do well, give them more say in the direction of the class. After all, it's their learning experience and they've proven themselves responsible.

3. Praise for carrying out their duties as students well.

Sound corny? Perhaps. But the punishment/reward system, coupled with not letting authority drift away, really seemed to work for me. It'll be up to you to decide what you try, so all the best.

Edit: also read my sig. I forgot I even had it.

[burlives]

Wotru... tryingtosay, Bones?

scifi.about.com/library/weekly/aa080201.htm

You can have your Picards. I apparently am Benjamin Sisko.

[motis]

Problems with maintaining order in the classroom?

I don't know why you folks have so much trouble... when I teach Chinese students, we all gather in a garden at the edge of a small stream, sit in lotus position, and spend a few minutes in silent contemplation before quoting Li Po and engaging in a soft-spoken conversation on the nature of Self. Then one of the students asks me what the sound of one hand clapping is, and I slap his face, and the student is enlightened. Usually, right about that time some students from another school come along and kill our wise old headmaster, and we are forced to seek our revenge in these amazing street battles that finally culminate in me facing off with the other school's top guy for an epic display of martial arts fury until I pull his heart out of his chest and show it to him just before he dies.

Oh, wait a minute... that was a movie I saw.

Never mind.

[burlives]

Oh, look what Christmas dragged in.

motis said:

Problems with maintaining order in the classroom?

No. They all love me now. Just in time to not get a new contract.

Bastards.

Happens every time.

Every-friggen-time the cure for this nonsense is "making friends".

But, you know, it's everywhere. Not just in the classroom. If I have a favourite restaurant and I'm not very chatty with the boss, I'll start getting dirty looks and second-class meat. Likewise, if you don't make friends with the leaders, one gets m'kayed in the same way.

I suspect without knowing for sure that it is an age thing. I'm of what I suppose that lower-middle age to be where Chinese hold grudges if I don't make advances. It must be institutionalised in more places than the classroom, but I'd love to know why the kids know they should do it.

(On the other hand, maybe I do: a kid gave an impassioned speech today about how she will be loved equally by the kids when she is a teacher because she met a teacher in middle school who didn't treat the students equally and "sometimes I hate her.")

Chinese love peace. It's lucky, because otherwise they'd be speed-freakin maniacs.

[tom]

Burl, it sounds like your teaching just fine. I have two children, 23 and 18 who are quite accomplished despite my..... All wise, fatherly instruction.

Thelonious Monk was once asked if he could read music notation. He said, "a little, but not enough to hurt my playing."

You can't teach everybody everything. So be satisfied with the knowledge that you helped some to grow and move on to even better things then you could give them.

[MK]

Every-friggen-time the cure for this nonsense is "making friends"

Also known as 'brown nosing', 'sucking up', 'apple polishing' etc etc

Ah, the foreign teacher toady! Usually found inhabiting the same dank recess for year upon year after having succesfully gouged out their little pit among the poo and filth. Secure in the knowledge that no-one can touch them, they are at the same time terrified because there is nowhere left for them to go.