gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Jun 8, 2005 20:58:22 GMT 7
noticed what!?!
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Post by George61 on Jun 8, 2005 20:58:29 GMT 7
NO!.....
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Post by Lotus Eater on Jun 8, 2005 21:36:44 GMT 7
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Post by con's fly is open on Jun 8, 2005 23:32:30 GMT 7
Buncha cryptic retards. Got room for another female ex-spooner? I won't even complain if the beer is warm Howdy, Babala, and welcome! I'm Con, the most attractive man here. Step on up to the bar (the red stool hadn't been hurled on in ages) and I'll buy you a beer. , and explain to you how canadian tax law is really quite fascinating...
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Post by Jollyjunklass on Jun 8, 2005 23:49:01 GMT 7
I hope your not insinuating that I didn't notice, give me a break. I know where your sick minds are, way down deep, deep in that gutter pit you call the male kingdom. Hey, what happened to the axe lady, bring her back.
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Post by George61 on Jun 9, 2005 2:48:47 GMT 7
When she first came into the Saloon, I figured her for a lady, but, that Millana shore has changed. Babala, you enter at your own peril....especially if you listen to that Con con. If you need help, just yell for George. I'll think about it!
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gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Jun 9, 2005 5:29:04 GMT 7
yeah, but just realize that George will most likely be passed out on the floor and unable to respond to you. Once you have yelled for George, the G-Man will come to lighten your wallet rescue you!
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gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Jun 9, 2005 5:33:25 GMT 7
just remember, if it asks all kinds of questions like a duck, complains about your link re: "tires" like a duck, and then berates you in front of all the other bar drunkards patrons like a duck...it shernuff must be...
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Post by Lotus Eater on Jun 9, 2005 6:06:22 GMT 7
Babala - I am so pleased you already know where to get away from this testosterone laden mob - not that they have a clue what to do with it. This lot are all hot air and NO hot action!!
Leave her alone guys !!!!
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Post by CarryAnn on Jun 9, 2005 21:53:26 GMT 7
Yep, here comes another one - a Dave's refugee and from the land of the detainees to boot. Seems much more civilised over here. Carry from Guangdong here.
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Post by Hamish on Jun 9, 2005 22:01:45 GMT 7
Hey bub!
Dry off over here.
Cup of chocolate?
Want some schnapps in it?
I'm the only decent man here. I'll protect you.
You can trust me.
Yeah. That's the ticket.
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Post by CarryAnn on Jun 9, 2005 22:31:55 GMT 7
Mmmmm. Smooth. I like it - chocolate that is . Oh and that you'll protect me. I'll keep it in mind.
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Post by Jollyjunklass on Jun 9, 2005 22:45:18 GMT 7
Hi Carry Anne, Nice to meet you. Don't believe anything you hear here. Especially when it comes from THAT gender.
Lady George? God I hate that term. First I'll respond to you, in duck terms of course, re: my lady-like behaviour.
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer". The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?" The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street". And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?" And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"
Next, to GG, the traitor.
Three guys (George, Hamish and GG) died in an accident and went to heaven. When they got there, St. Peter said, "We only have one rule in heaven. Don't step on the ducks!"
So they entered heaven and sure enough, there were ducks all over the place. It was almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they tried their best to avoid them, George accidentally stepped on one.
Along came St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chained them together and said, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman".
The next day, Hamish accidentally stepped on a duck and along came St. Peter, who didn't miss a thing, and with him was another extremely ugly woman. He chained them together with the same admonishment as the first.
GG had observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, was very careful where he stepped. He managed to go for months without stepping on any duck. But one day, St. Peter came up to him with the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chained them together without saying a word.
The guy remarked, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity"? Millana replied, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck"
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Post by Raoul Duke on Jun 9, 2005 23:56:52 GMT 7
Smooth. Hmmm. I guess, maybe, in the sense that mineral oil is "smooth".
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gengrant
SuperBarfly!
Hao, Bu Hao?
Posts: 1,818
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Post by gengrant on Jun 10, 2005 2:37:29 GMT 7
Hey, Millana...I wasn't being a traitor, just having some fun at yer expense...have a glass of the most expensive stuff on me... and my heartfelt apologies for hurtin' ya. besides, being chained to a woman for all of eternity would only feel like... A MARRIAGE!!!
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Post by George61 on Jun 10, 2005 4:20:13 GMT 7
Yeah, me too. I much prefer being called "Lord George" A duck waddles into the bar and orders a beer. "Piss off" says Raoul. The duck waddles out. Next day, the duck waddles in again "Gimme a beer" Raoul tells him "Piss off". The duck waddles out.. Third day, the duck waddles in again.."Gimme a beer". Raoul does the rag. "Listen to me, you m'kayen duck! Come in here again and I'll nail your beak to the floor." The duck waddles out. Fourth day, the duck waddles in again. "Hey, got any nails?" Raoul is furious. "No!! Of course, I haven't got any nails. "Good" says the duck. "Gimme a beer""
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Post by Jollyjunklass on Jun 10, 2005 5:37:47 GMT 7
One last one, I was going to post this in Ruth's puddles thread... Okay last one, I was going to ruin Ruth's puddle's thread, but thought better of it. Three saloonies walk into the bar. Rauol , whose been in many of these jokes before, knows that something's going to happen...but he can't figure out what it is. So he cautiously goes up to the first saloony. Rauol : "Hello Mr. Duck, What's your name?" Bond: "My name's Bond." Rauol : "Nice to meet you Bond, how was your day? Bond: "Pretty good, been jumping in and out of puddles all day. It was a lot of fun." Rauol : "What can I get you to drink?" Bond: "Oh, I'll just take a beer thanks." So then Rauol gets Bond a beer and goes over to the second duck. Rauol : "Hello Mr. Duck, What's your name?" Duck: "My name's George ." Rauol : "Nice to meet you George, how was your day?" George: "Pretty good , been jumping in and out of puddles all day. Bond and I have had a lot of fun." Rauol : "What can I get you to drink?" George: "Oh, I'll just take a beer thanks." Rauol gets George his beer, and then walks over to the third duck. Rauol : "Hello Mr. Duck, Let me guess...The first duck's name was Bond , the second duck's name was George , I bet you name is GG isn't it?" GG (in a deep booming voice): "NO! My name's Puddles and you don't wanna hear about my day!"
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Post by Lotus Eater on Jun 10, 2005 7:19:25 GMT 7
Y'all promise that they are the last ones? PLEASE!!! It's too early in teh morning for this. Welcome Carry - the Ladies Lounge is over there - best drinks and barkeepers in the place in there, and some actually sensible conversation. Don't let this lot faze you - they are usually so sloshed, pie faced etc, that even getting up from the floor can be too much for them! Come and have a nice glass of Cardy if you are a Kath and Kim fan.
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Post by CarryAnn on Jun 10, 2005 8:54:11 GMT 7
Thanks for the welcome and invitation LotusEater. I've got one thing to say: look at moy, look at moy Kimmy. Love a Cardy. See you in the Ladies Lounge at about wine o'clock?
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Post by con's fly is open on Jun 10, 2005 8:55:47 GMT 7
Welcome aboard, CarryAnn, to the land of freedom, civility, bad hygiene and massive bar tabs. I'm Con. I'm a little under the weather today, so if you could scan backwards in this thread, read what I've said to the other new female members, assume I've just said the same to you, then pour the beer I just bought you in my lap, we're all caught up to speed. How long ya been in the Middle Kingdom? What ages do you teach? Etc. (Oh, keep an arm's length distance- I may be contagious, and I certainly forgot to do laundry )
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Newbs
SuperDuperBarfly!
If you don't have your parents permission to be on this site, naughty, naughty. But Krusty forgives
Posts: 2,085
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Post by Newbs on Jun 10, 2005 9:40:50 GMT 7
Anyone who's a "Kath and Kim" fan is welcome here, CarryAnn
which segues nicely into one of my favourite lines from Kath and Kim
It looks like Brett is going to be promoted to some sort of executive role, so at the office party Kim is "working the room" with a wine bottle offering everyone a glass of Kardonnay. Everyone replies, "I believe it's pronounced chardonnay." but she disagrees. At the end she realises her mistake, and storms off, saying "You're all a pack of shunts."
We're all really nice people here, but some of us are a bit worried about what happens in the Ladies Lounge. Secret Women's Business. I tried to get in once, but the lack of password, and that 7 foot eunuch guarding the door, prevented me. But as I say, we're all nice even George.
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Post by CarryAnn on Jun 10, 2005 9:54:32 GMT 7
Hi Con -pleased to meet etc. I've had all my shots so no need to worry about transmission of bad habits. Been in Mk since Feb 05 so I'm still green (well not physically - well maybe - on bad days - well some bad days). I’m in Guangdong teaching senior high 90%, primary 5% and business the other 15%. It's great, I love it and it gives me the oppo to hone my finely tuned maths skills. I've worked in the community sector forever, the last 6 in management in mental health - had a revelation before I came over to look after my own mental health for a while and not everybody else's - so voila, here I am. Hope I came to the right place - I see there's a cornucopia of soothing liquids in the bar here so looking forward to continuing my regimen of self-medication amongst friends.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Jun 10, 2005 10:05:49 GMT 7
My, that Carryann lady has a nice manner of speech, does she not?
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Post by Lotus Eater on Jun 10, 2005 10:17:00 GMT 7
Mr N - surely you're not implying that we other members of the female species do not have a "nice manner of speech". Most of the time I am totally charming, inoffensive - nay even "sweet". 3rd series of kath and Kim has Kylie Monogue saying she has been to Paris, lived in France and it is actually pronounced kardy - or cardy, not Ch.
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Post by CarryAnn on Jun 10, 2005 10:33:41 GMT 7
Thanks for the snaps Mr N but don't be dissing the Lotus Eater - she's been nothing but sweet to me since the first time we met. Ta for the welcome Newbs - I love that joke - one of my faves - so good they used it twice... aahh but I do miss the adventures of the whole Day-Knight family. And anything our singing budgie says is OK with me.
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