Newbs
SuperDuperBarfly!
If you don't have your parents permission to be on this site, naughty, naughty. But Krusty forgives
Posts: 2,085
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Post by Newbs on Aug 24, 2006 5:18:12 GMT 7
Another one to file under "Stupid" folks. www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200608/s1722392.htmOne part states I dunno. I'm no expert on depression, but I doubt that threatening to blow up a plane is a good way to ease depression. Course, I'm prepared to stand corrected on that one.
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Post by hankuh on Aug 24, 2006 5:33:46 GMT 7
Another one to file under "Stupid" folks. www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200608/s1722392.htmOne part states I dunno. I'm no expert on depression, but I doubt that threatening to blow up a plane is a good way to ease depression. Course, I'm prepared to stand corrected on that one. If the plane was filled with Human Resources people, it could possibly work.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Aug 24, 2006 7:07:55 GMT 7
I got a list . . . .
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Post by Hamish on Aug 24, 2006 7:42:49 GMT 7
War-Torn Middle East Seeks Solace In Religion
August 23, 2006 | Issue 42•34
JERUSALEM—As an uneasy truce between Israel and Hezbollah continues, millions of average men and women in the Holy Land are turning to the one simple comfort that has always seen them through the darkest days of their troubled history: the steadfast guidance of their religious faith.
Arabs and Israelis alike are embracing their faith as a way to make sense of the violence from which there seems to be no escape.
"I take solace in knowing that my faith is a sanctuary, an escape from the bloodshed and turmoil," said Haifa resident Yigal Taheri, who last week lost his wife and newborn daughter when a Fajr-3 long-range rocket launched by Lebanese militants struck the synagogue where his family was attending services. "YHWH, Elohim, whatever you wish to not call Him—His love comforts all those who are willing to open their hearts to Him. Praise be to G–d."
"Religion is the one thing that has never let us down," Taheri added over the low rumble of AK-47 fire emanating from the nearby home of a radical Israeli rabbi.
Taheri is not alone. In a time of seemingly unending conflict between Israelis and Arabs, a growing number of Middle Easterners are fervently embracing the unshakeable wisdom of Judaism and Islam.
Palestinian Omar Abdel-Malik, a resident of the Gaza Strip town of Khan Younis, credits his Islamic beliefs for preserving his sanity.
"The Israelis have fired missile upon missile on my neighborhood, but it has only made my trust in Allah that much stronger," Abdel-Malik said. "I cringe to think where the people of the Middle East would be right now if it weren't for our steadfast belief in one true, merciful, and loving Supreme Being."
Palestinian widow and mother of three Dareen Idriss agreed, citing the healing power of prayer as a way to cope with the relentless slaughter she and her family witness every day. "When the children cannot stop crying because of the bombs, we all gather our families in the rubble of the mosque to pray for justice," Idriss said. "During this calm meditation, we also pray for the annihilation of the Hebrew race."
An unidentified Palestinian man seeks a renewed resolve through prayer.
West Bank settler Ari Chayat, whose neighborhood has also been ravaged by violence, echoed this profound reliance on faith. "The world is so brutal and unfair," Chayat said. "Many days, my uncompromising belief in a vengeful creator is all that gets me out of bed in the morning."
"If it wasn't for my faith that the God of Abraham has given these lands to Jews and Jews alone by divine decree, I probably wouldn't even be here today," Chayat added.
Lebanese militant Jawad Hamid, who recently lost his best friend to an Israeli helicopter attack while the two men were on their way to pick up a Katyusha rocket, said his faith in Allah was the only way he could cope with the tragedy.
"Every time I want to give up hope, I just open the Quran to my favorite passage, Surah 2:194: 'Whoever acts aggressively against you, inflict injury on him,'" Hamid said. "Whenever I read those words, I am immediately filled with inspiration and a renewed sense of purpose."
Even political leaders have tapped into the public's reliance on religion and used it as a way to encourage them to never give up.
"In this time of strife, the only way to endure the unending suffering is through an unwavering, uncompromising faith in one's religious beliefs," Israeli hard-liner Benjamin Netanyahu said Monday. Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah went so far as to quote from the Quran in a speech delivered followers the same afternoon.
"It's always frightening to be reminded of your own mortality, as we all were this past Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday," Hezbollah commander Mahdi al-Zaidi said. "But rather than react irrationally, I looked deep within my faith, consulted the Quran, and by the mercy of Allah, I gained the resolve to oversee a massive airstrike against the enemy."
"We will get through this, so long as we have God on our side," he added.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Aug 24, 2006 10:36:09 GMT 7
Deary deary me. Isn't that what got them there in the first place?
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Newbs
SuperDuperBarfly!
If you don't have your parents permission to be on this site, naughty, naughty. But Krusty forgives
Posts: 2,085
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Post by Newbs on Aug 24, 2006 14:27:36 GMT 7
War-Torn Middle East Seeks Solace In Religion Yep, that should solve everyone's problems. Oh, and thanks Hamish. I do stand corrected.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Aug 24, 2006 16:21:52 GMT 7
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Post by Mr Nobody on Aug 25, 2006 8:07:35 GMT 7
I found this in my email. I didn't know whether to put it in the joke thread or not, but since it comes close to reality, I put it here.
AUSTRALIANS WITH NO ABILITIES BILL 2006
CANBERRA - Federal Cabinet is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Australians. The Australians With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative advance by advocates for the millions of Australians who lack any useful skills and who have no ambition to acquire them.?The Minister for Inability, Senator Habetz of Tasmania, says that the bill is modelled closely upon the Canadian Act of similar intent which was handed to the Government by Mike Germa's Auntie in Vancouver.
"Roughly 50 percent of Australians do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Tasmanian Premier, Mr Maul Leaning. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability, like myself, to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favours to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some concept of what they are doing."
Prime Minister John Howzat A.C., D.C. and bar pointed to the success of Australia Post, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest Australian employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%) and home improvement warehouse style stores (65%). Engineering firms also have a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
Under the Australians With No Abilities Act, more than five million "middle person" positions will be created. These will have important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, and thus provide our incompetent fellow Australians with an illusory sense of purpose and performance. For example, parliamentary back benchers whose personalities are so unsavoury that nobody likes or who are barely literate will be able to appointed as Minister Assisting the Minister for this or that. These Assistant Ministers will only be given trivial tasks such as signing the meaningless, but high sounding, letters that have been composed by Assist Middlemen in the Public Service. Such pointless letters are sent to all citizens who have complained to a Minister about some real or injustice.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions solely on the basis of seniority will be guaranteed. This will finally guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees, such as the majority of?elected members of state and federal parliaments.
The proposed legislation also provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in piddling middling positions. It will also give a tax credit to small and medium sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented new employees.
Finally, the AWNA bill contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled by banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Tasmania's impoverished city of West Bandywallop. Her unfair sacking was solely due to her lack of observable enthusiasm or job skills.
Ms Gertz said, "This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Prime Minister John Howzat A.C., D.C. and bar said, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every one of my fellow Australians, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some desirable kind of income producing sinecure to take up in this great nation. We must also find places for all manner of slackers, no matter how idle, lazy or useless they may be.
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Post by Lotus Eater on Sept 7, 2006 12:13:16 GMT 7
Interesting place Switzerland.
Man blames lack of goats for speeding From correspondents in Ottawa September 07, 2006 A SWISS driver blamed Canada's lack of goats as possible roadside obstacles for his speeding through the countryside after police nabbed him, an official said.
The driver was caught travelling 161km/h on Canada's busiest highway between Montreal and Toronto on Sunday.
The posted speed limit is 100km/h.
“An officer stopped the car for speeding along a straight stretch of road and the driver told him he thought it would be alright to go fast because he wasn't likely to hit a goat,” said Constable Joel Doiron.
“I've never been to Switzerland, but I guess there must be a lot of goats there,” he said.
Const. Doiron noted that in his 20 years as a police officer, “nobody's ever used the lack of goats here as an excuse for speeding”.
Police issued the man a $C360 ($430) fine.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Sept 7, 2006 13:52:19 GMT 7
But I have never been to Canada!
I have a good one for you all, though. From New Scientist, 12 August:
Quantum Loop Gravity has (maybe, possibly) just ousted String Theory as the likely next answer to The Theory of Everything.
Those who have been following the debate closely will know that both theories appeared in the 80's and have been trying to get a Theory Of Everything (TOE). String theory seemed to be winning, since preons - the primordial particles - couldn't be described correctly by Quantum Loop Gravity Theory since they seemed to take orders of magnitude of too much energy to create. However, String Theory has been stuck since day one, and can only give answers by stretching the maths to fit, and doesn't predict anything. Therefore, cannot even be called a Theory, really.
The biggest problem with things like String Theory is that while it can describe things quite well, you have to put the answer in. Quantum Loop Gravity Theory has managed to do what a theory should do - predicting the answer, or reality. Crank the numbers, and the answer comes out. It means that for the first time, gravity has been included in a theory that includes particles. Starting from general relativity, they have described the universe from first principles. Exciting stuff. Another group using Quantum Loop Gravity, has started from nothing, no space or time, and have managed to describe all the primordial sub atomic particles and got out Newton's Law, but they haven't managed to get general relativity out yet, especially the part about space-time distortion by matter.
Very exciting stuff. Oh, yeah, the guy that provided the key to making the particle part work out was an Ozzie with the unlikely name Sundance Bilson-Thompson. (what was his parents doing in the seventies, ay?) Until him, the problem was that preons took far too much energy to describe, and invented the idea of braided ribbons instead of particles and that managed to describe the whole thing. That was one key.
Other keys involved quantum stability over larger numbers of particles, eg as in quantum computers, but there is a long way to go yet, and need to manage to include all the the issues and describe everything that is in the full standard model of the universe.
One thing is this theory means that space doesn't exist as such. This actually could be measured due to relict effects from the big bang in the observable universe, so experimental testing is possible, although extremely difficult.
But yeah, good, ay?
Looks like we are all just small quantum tangles (braids in the theory) in spacetime, so are one with the universe. If it works, it will be the best theory since Einstein said lets slice this bread.
String Theory always seemed a bit of a stretch to me, but this seems a lot more sensible at first approach, now they have resolved the original difficulty.
Dunno if I wrote that lucidly. Hope you understood it.
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Non-Dave
Barfly
Try Not! Do - or Do Not... There Is No Try!
Posts: 701
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Post by Non-Dave on Sept 8, 2006 6:36:53 GMT 7
Thanks Mr N. Next time I'm having trouble sleeping I know where to come...
Physics has never been my strongpoint. I would have guessed string theory to be about why a ball of string always get tangled when unwinding it - and I thought Quantum Loop was the name of a rollercoaster!
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Post by Mr Nobody on Sept 8, 2006 7:13:21 GMT 7
Fair enough. However, I got something slightly wrong - although I am sure I have seen both the terms Quantum Loop Theory and Loop Quantum Theory, and to my ears the first sounds better, apparently the second is currently the vogue. Loop Quantum Theory.
If anyone is interested I could do a comparison for you all. I promise at no time to involve borax.
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Post by Lotus Eater on Sept 9, 2006 15:57:11 GMT 7
Senate finds no al-Qaida-Saddam link
By JIM ABRAMS, Associated Press Writer1 hour, 1 minute ago
Saddam Hussein rejected overtures from al-Qaida and believed Islamic extremists were a threat to his regime, a reverse portrait of an Iraq allied with Osama bin Laden painted by the Bush White House, a Senate panel has found.
The administration's version was based in part on intelligence that White House officials knew was flawed, according to Democrats on the Senate Intelligence Committee, citing newly declassified documents released by the panel.
The report, released Friday, discloses for the first time an October 2005 CIA assessment that prior to the war Saddam's government "did not have a relationship, harbor or turn a blind eye toward" al-Qaida operative Abu Musab al-Zarqawi or his associates.
As recently as an Aug. 21 news conference, President Bush said people should "imagine a world in which you had Saddam Hussein" with the capacity to make weapons of mass destruction and "who had relations with Zarqawi."
Democrats singled out CIA Director George Tenet, saying that during a private meeting in July Tenet told the panel that the White House pressured him and that he agreed to back up the administration's case for war despite his own agents' doubts about the intelligence it was based on.
"Tenet admitted to the Intelligence Committee that the policymakers wanted him to 'say something about not being inconsistent with what the president had said,'" Intelligence Committee member Carl Levin, D-Mich., told reporters Friday.
Tenet also told the committee that complying had been "the wrong thing to do," according to Levin.
"Well, it was much more than that," Levin said. "It was a shocking abdication of a CIA director's duty not to act as a shill for any administration or its policy."
Leaders of both parties accused each other of seeking political gain on the eve of the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks.
Republicans said the document contained little new information about prewar intelligence or postwar findings on Iraq's weapons and connection to terrorist groups.
Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts, R-Kan., accused Democrats of trying to "use the committee ... insisting that they were deliberately duped into supporting the overthrow of Saddam Hussein's regime."
"That is simply not true," Roberts added, "and I believe the American people are smart enough to recognize election-year politicking when they see it."
The report speaks for itself, Democrats said.
The administration "exploited the deep sense of insecurity among Americans in the immediate aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks, leading a large majority of Americans to believe — contrary to the intelligence assessments at the time — that Iraq had a role in the 9/11 attacks," said Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., the top Democrat on the Intelligence Committee.
Still, Democrats were reluctant to say how the administration officials involved should be called to account.
Asked whether the wrongdoing amounted to criminal conduct, Levin and Rockefeller declined to answer. Rockefeller said later he did not believe Bush should be impeached over the matter.
According to the report, postwar findings indicate that Saddam "was distrustful of al-Qaida and viewed Islamic extremists as a threat to his regime." It quotes an FBI report from June 2004 in which former Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz said in an interview that "Saddam only expressed negative sentiments about bin Laden."
Saddam himself is quoted in an FBI summary as acknowledging that the Iraqi government had met with bin Laden but denying that he had colluded with the al-Qaida leader. Claiming that Iraq opposed only U.S. policies, Saddam said that "if he wanted to cooperate with the enemies of the U.S., he would have allied with North Korea or China," the report quotes the FBI document.
The Democrats said that on Oct. 7, 2002, the day Bush gave a speech speaking of that link, the CIA had sent a declassified letter to the committee saying it would be an "extreme step" for Saddam to assist Islamist terrorists in attacking the United States.
Levin and Rockefeller said Tenet in July acknowledged to the committee that subsequently issuing a statement that there was no inconsistency between the president's speech and the CIA viewpoint had been a mistake.
They also charged Bush with continuing to cite faulty intelligence in his argument for war as recently as last month.
The report said that al-Zarqawi, the al-Qaida leader killed by a U.S. airstrike last June, was in Baghdad from May 2002 until late November 2002. But "postwar information indicates that Saddam Hussein attempted, unsuccessfully, to locate and capture al-Zarqawi and that the regime did not have a relationship with, harbor or turn a blind eye toward Zarqawi."
In June 2004, Bush also defended Vice President Dick Cheney's assertion that Saddam had "long-established ties" with al-Qaida. "Zarqawi is the best evidence of connection to al-Qaida affiliates and al-Qaida," the president said.
The report concludes that postwar findings do not support a 2002 intelligence community report that Iraq was reconstituting its nuclear program, possessed biological weapons or ever developed mobile facilities for producing biological warfare agents.
A second part of the report finds that false information from the Iraqi National Congress, an anti-Saddam group led by then-exile Ahmed Chalabi, was used to support key intelligence community assessments on Iraq.
___
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Post by Mr Nobody on Oct 3, 2006 19:35:47 GMT 7
Make of this what you will: Thank the Goddess this isn't my country we are talking about.
Calling God a 'He' helps wife-beaters? Tuesday Oct 3 20:53 AEST Church of England leaders have warned that calling God "He" encourages men to beat their wives, a British newspaper reported on Tuesday.
The Daily Mail said churchgoers had been told to think twice before referring to God as "He" or "Lord" because of dangers it could lead to domestic violence.
New guidelines for bishops and priests reportedly warn the clergy to reconsider the language they use in sermons and ensure the hymns they sing don't foster the oppression of women.
The guidelines, entitled Responding to Domestic Abuse, advise that Biblical violence "in combination with uncritical use of masculine imagery, can validate overbearing and ultimately violent patterns of behaviour", The Daily Mail said.
Plymouth vicar Rod Thomas, a spokesman for the evangelical Reform movement, said according to The Bible, God has female and male characteristics, but it was not inhibited about referring to God as male.
"There is a danger that this document has veered too much towards political correctness," he told the paper.
©AAP 2006
I just KNEW God was gay.
And I guess this is to put it in line with the 21st Century and Buddhism too.
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Newbs
SuperDuperBarfly!
If you don't have your parents permission to be on this site, naughty, naughty. But Krusty forgives
Posts: 2,085
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Post by Newbs on Oct 6, 2006 14:24:02 GMT 7
Good news Hoganlanders. If you decide to head back to Hoganland to teach, you should find things very similar to what they are in the Middle Kingdom. www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200610/s1756711.htmWha the m'kay was she on, cos I want some of it!
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Post by Justashooter on Oct 6, 2006 14:46:40 GMT 7
Canada:1.) Is one of only two countries to repell an American invasion (although the Yanks did a great job on the "unbeatable" British fleet). 2.) Has, second only to Saudi Arabia, the largest oil reserves. 3.) Not only interned citizens of Japanese descent, but unloke the Yanks, seized and auctioned off all their possessions. 4.)Rules the Earth (as it pertains to hockey). 1.) coulda kept going at the plains of abraham, but didn't think there was anything worth taking. we weren't repelled. we left y'all to freeze to death. 2.) found out there is. sell it to us cheap, or we will come back and take it. 3.) yeah, but we got to nuke 'em (two family members fought them in china and the south pacific. wish i coulda been there with them, but was not yet born. really think yapan shoulda been wiped off the map, rather than rebuilt on american tax dollars. at least the germans are repentant) 4.) no consequence.
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Post by Hamish on Oct 6, 2006 16:42:48 GMT 7
3.),,,yeah, but we got to nuke 'em (two family members fought them in china and the south pacific. wish i coulda been there with them, but was not yet born. really think yapan shoulda been wiped off the map, rather than rebuilt on american tax dollars. at least the germans are repentant) ... Gosh, I hope you're kidding. Serious poo!
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Post by Raoul Duke on Oct 7, 2006 23:55:45 GMT 7
Gosh, I hope so too. Advocating genocide is not a particularly appropriate or welcome suggestion for this venue.
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Escaped Lunatic
Barfly
Civet Burger? Sounds tempting. Can I get fries with that?
Posts: 567
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Post by Escaped Lunatic on Oct 8, 2006 6:37:34 GMT 7
>String Theory always seemed a bit of a stretch to me Nope. That's rubber band theory. String theory doesn't stretch. "All these constructions and the laws connecting them can be arrived at by the principle of looking for the mathematically simplest concepts and the link between them." - Albert Einstein
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Post by Dragonsaver on Oct 8, 2006 7:32:41 GMT 7
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Post by Mr Nobody on Oct 8, 2006 20:52:22 GMT 7
Um, at least someone got the joke.
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Post by con's fly is open on Oct 8, 2006 22:49:22 GMT 7
Gosh, I hope you're kidding. Serious poo! Oops. My intention was to single out something Canada did that was more rotten than what our sister to the South did in turn. Y'all interned them, which has an excuse of Security... we stole from them. It does read like a boast. I didn't mean it that way, even ironically. BTW, saying y'all turned away from your invasion because you wanted to is much like saying you let us burn the (now) White House so you could remodel.
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Post by George61 on Nov 3, 2006 21:41:53 GMT 7
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Post by George61 on Nov 3, 2006 21:44:29 GMT 7
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Post by Mr Nobody on Nov 3, 2006 21:49:28 GMT 7
So who's your brother? The head of Oz coke-amatil? Which, by the way, sounds like some kind of new designer drug.
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