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Post by Mr Nobody on Mar 16, 2005 13:46:21 GMT 7
Umm, perhaps the same one where we had a professional wrestler and an aging, Republican action star elected governor? A point, sir, a palpable hit. On reflection, bringing politicians into it was a terrible mistake. ALL countries seem to have either buffoons or psychos, (take your pick) To (mis)quote a famous australian, (alright, american, but he should have been australian) Ambrose Bierce and all around hero type idiot, "politics - comes from the greek, poly, meaning many, and ticks, small mindless bloodsucking parasites". On Flacco: I met him once at a dinner for a club we are both members of, the australian skeptics. I was at the bar (of course) and i turned around and there he was, minus make-up and plus a suit. I said "Mr Livingstone, I presume" and he laughed (Paul livingstone is his real name) I then told him i thought he was the funniest guy alive. He didnt' laugh. Huh, i thought. No sense of humour, these comedians. Still, I thought, it will be a nice story to tell to any suckers on the inter . . . . Oh, hi guys!
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 16, 2005 14:33:25 GMT 7
Even venomous animals have their purpose. If the Canadian wilderness had had a few Redbacks around to help thin the herd, perhaps today we wouldn't have to endure Anne Murray or Bryan Adams.
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Post by con's fly is open on Mar 16, 2005 15:29:27 GMT 7
Our founding Prime Minister, Sir John A. MacDonald, got the National Railroad built. His secret? Never sober a single day. Our wartime PM (and our longest serving), William Lyon MacKenzie King, never married and had long, deep conversations with his dead mother every night. Pierre Trudeau, who got us our constitution, escorted the Queen into parliament, lagged back... and did a big pirouette for the cameras, Betty Winsdor in sight but oblivious.
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wOZfromOZ
Charter Member and Old Chum
Posts: 419
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Post by wOZfromOZ on Mar 16, 2005 16:16:22 GMT 7
Can I throw a wet blanet over all of yuz and get back to the topic - my country - right or stupid!!
"I love a sunburnt country, a land of open drains!!!!! Of uban sprawl extended, for cost accounting gains!!!!!"
....ahhh ....grade 6 and Primary school and a wee bit of Dorothy McKellar .....and then onto highschool and Uni and the other version........
I've just come back from the greatest country on this earth and I gotta tell ya that I dont think I can go back there to raise a family and buy a house - It's just got too expensive!
I have a superannuation "nest egg" but this appears to have been 'savaged' by the properity values madness that has beset some areas like my hometown where values have gone through the roof!!!
Lke it or not, this is what divorce does to you (the male) in western society now if you opt out of the main stream for a short period. ie - a few years in China!
what am I gunna do?
where there's a will ...etc ...etc ...
wOZfromOZ
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Post by George61 on Mar 16, 2005 16:23:15 GMT 7
Yuss, I did notice that myself......very expensive hovels, some of 'em. Guess I'll have to stay here for a few more years.
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Post by Mr Nobody on Mar 16, 2005 16:47:03 GMT 7
I am a little confused:
Is the fact that real estate has gone up in Australia "my country right" or "my country stupid"?
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Post by George61 on Mar 16, 2005 16:51:41 GMT 7
A bit of both, I recckon. If you are selling, it's "right"...or if you're trying to buy, some of them are downright "stupid"
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motis
Barfly
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Post by motis on Mar 16, 2005 18:23:55 GMT 7
Even venomous animals have their purpose. If the Canadian wilderness had had a few Redbacks around to help thin the herd, perhaps today we wouldn't have to endure Anne Murray or Bryan Adams. Wishing for venemous animals to attack Anne Murray and Bryan Adams is like wishing for a bucket of salt water to throw at the ocean. I suspect that anything that bit either of them would die in a matter of seconds, a theory which I have formed based on the observation that anything that listens to either of them immediately WISHES to die. Oh, but wait... Are Anne Murray and Bryan Adams VENEMOUS (i.e., capable of making a venom-based attack on prey and/or enemies), or POISONOUS (i.e. harmful and potentially life-threatening when eaten)? I wouldn't be surprised if they were both. I for one would not care to dine on either of them in order to find out, but I'm sure any number of baiju-swilling buttheads here in Sichuan would be up for it... if you'll eat hot pot, you'll eat anything. How would one prepare Anne Murray or Bryan Adams? Should the skin be removed to improve the flavor, like with carp? Are they microwaveable? There are so many questions... we don't even know for sure that they stay crunchy in milk, although we can assume so, since they are known to become soggy in anti-milk. But enough of this gay banter. We were talking about who has the best country, yes? I do. Why? One word: beer. Go ahead and scoff if you like... yes, Budweiser, Miller, Coors, and all those other mass-produced beers we make in the States are absolute swill, bear a strong resemblance to sex in a canoe, and taste no better than fizzy pre-urine (or so I am told)... but this is equally true of Foster's, VB, Molson, and a plethora of non-USAian mass-brewed beers. The difference is that we ALSO have lots and lots of really GREAT beer, which we keep for ourselves. It amuses us to export Bud to you primitive foreign dupes while kicking back at home with a nice bottle of Red Hook, Ballard Bitter, Pyramid Hefeweizen, Rogue Stout, or Dead Guy Ale. True, there are one or two good beers brewed in inconsequential third-world countries like Canuckistan and Downunderaq, but there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of truly excellent microbrews in the States these days. And anyway, even when you do drink something halfway decent, your outlandish accents, unfashionable clothing, and mediocre attempts at reproducing our music must surely remove any savor that Tooth's less noxious products might lend to your tawdry little amateur drinking bouts. Why do we have Bud at all, you may ask? The answer is simple, and illustrates yet another reason why the USA is the greatest country of them all: our mighty corporate culture, which has already conquered the pathetic backwards attempts at civilization made so feebly by all you half-naked, rickets-afflicted, undernourished non-Yank savages. You see, back in the early days of the 20th century, we had a little thing called 'Prohibition' in America. It was mostly a bad idea, but it did give rise to some of the more colorful aspects of American culture, like speakeasies and the glorification of gangsterism. During this time, any liquid that got you drunk without making you go blind for more than 15 minutes was considered "the good stuff". When Prohibition was repealed, giant corporations took the opportunity to jump into the beer market with both feet shod in hob-nailed boots, and in their Machiavellian cunning, they realized that the cheapest possible product could be passed off as decent beer, since Americans had become accustomed to drinking absolutely anything... and since the eyes of the world were (justifiably) turned to the States for guidance in all things, our role as arbiters of style and culture allowed those same corporations to sell their intensely mediocre products to all you australopithecine dirt-scratching Yankee wannabes in the provinces. The awe in which you so correctly held us prompted you to buy anything with a recognizably American brand name, no matter how shoddy or awful the actual product was. You even emulated us by brewing your own bad beer at home, and declaring it good! It was a great day for Americans in general, but a dark time for American drinkers. The terrible byproduct of our effortless success at cultural imperialism was that, for decades, our fine brewing traditions were all but lost. It would have been a real embarassment if we hadn't been so adept at convincing you auslander stooges to buy so much bad beer from us based on nothing more than brand recognition. But! Sometime around the late 1980s to early 1990s, the craft of American brewing came roaring back to life like a rocket from the crypt, and we started producing a vast panoply of amazingly good beers which we DON'T EXPORT, SUCKERS. Meanwhile, you dungheapers are still buying Bud from us, while the snootier among you are feeling all superior every time you crack open some domestically produced Bud-clone like Foster's. Another flawless victory for America! If you don't agree with something in this post, don't worry, there's nothing wrong... it's just that, not being American, you're severely retarded. Our advanced way of thinking is too much for your tiny, overheated cerebellum. In spite of your shortcomings, we do look kindly upon you from this great height, and I suggest that you encourage the women of your "country" to breed with us as much as possible, in the hopes that one day their offspring's offspring's offspring might achieve a form of sentience capable of understanding concepts more difficult than those necessary for an ape-like existence of trying to be more like us in every way. Cheers!
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wOZfromOZ
Charter Member and Old Chum
Posts: 419
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Post by wOZfromOZ on Mar 16, 2005 18:42:43 GMT 7
Hey .....very, very b.loody stupid George!!
Take the house that Jack (me) built with his bare hands over 17 years!! (42 squares and it took 17 yrs) ......sold by the 'ex' just 5 short years ago and was sold just 2 weeks ago for 300% more than what my "ex" got for it !!
I really feel for her - seroiously - I really do - she came to my mother's funeral back in Aus a week ago as did her parents - It's been a tuff couple of weeks for me I'll tell ya!
wOZfromOZ
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 16, 2005 22:18:51 GMT 7
Wokka, my condolences. I knew you'd gone back, and that it was a sad occasion, but I had no idea how sad it really was. Our thoughts are with you and your family.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 16, 2005 23:08:03 GMT 7
But now, back to the main theme of this thread: The well-deserved thrashing of various pommy Commonwealth types. Don't sweat the bubble in the real estate prices in Australia. It's just the beer talking. They'll return to their usual depressed levels once everyone sobers up and realizes where they are...although this could admittedly take years. By that time all those Chinese that your once-respected universities sold visas to will realize that they form a substantial majority of the population, and all you round-eyes (save those lucky enough to find work as English teachers or other menial domestic positions) will have to go eke out what existence you can in the Outback....which will be just as well since by then the People's Liberation Army will be rolling in triumph down Elizabeth Street. Good job, too. Motis, you misunderstood. I was not suggesting that any animal would or should ever bite either Anne Murray OR Bryan Adams. Even a Redback wouldn't be that stupid. I was suggesting that maybe some of their ancestors could have been bitten, back in the days when those flinty transplanted Scots were dreaming up that rail across the trackless prairies to the Pacific. Although on second thought, maybe some of them were bitten. Hmmm. I rank the beers as: #1: The UK. God bless Guinness stout, almost any Irish porter, and those lovely friendly soft brown ales from the Tyne. #2: Germany. Hard to even find a place to start here. Except to mention that the Mosel River region also produces the world's best white wines. Piesporter Goldtropfchen...mmmmmm. #3: The USA. Motis is right...those microbrews will stand up to anyone else anywhere. #4: Canada. Can't assess the locals, but their insipid national brands are vastly superior to our insipid national brands. #5: Other stuff. Pick one, doesn't matter. Check the bottle for signs of poor bottling sanitation before drinking. Honorable mentions to Grolsch (Netherlands), Pilsner Urquell (Czecho), and Trois Monts' biere-de-garde (French Flanders).
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Post by Mr Nobody on Mar 17, 2005 0:06:13 GMT 7
I gotta say, having drunk beer in many countries, that there are many fine drops to be had, many already mentioned. Only one thing needs to be said. Oz beer truly sucks except, like anywhere, microbreweries are often as good as anywhere in the world, due to the famed brewing prowess of the wumpa lumpa munchkins of Oz. Or maybe Toto found a tree. (one near here - hunter valley - in the vineyards is called the potters brewery and is first rate, the local thingy "the brewery" is a microbrewer nightclub and moderately sucks.) I hate the commercial swill here, with a small number of exceptions (James Squire and Coopers for eg). Chinese swill is way better. (One exception. Last month i had this ice beer in nanning, the beer from, i think, guilin. I had one swallow. Gross. I had a second since i couldn't believe this was beer. I left it. I didn't want to taste the dinner twice, nice as it was the first time.)
Haven't done belgium yet but it will get its turn.
And some Oz whites have been trashing other country's plonk as successfully as our reds, but i don't know which. Probably something gross and sweet.
Now this will not help at all BUT blah blah blah. Two beers i seriously became addicted to and are outstanding. One you can buy but the other you must beg. 1. An amazing dunkel dopple(sp.?) bock from a little town near Elsenz, a few km from Heidelberg, Germany. Brewery the size of a big old fashioned medieval manor (Duh.....). Seriously good stuff. Truly awesome. But then i like dark bocks a lot. This was the best from a 3 month survey of Europe. I can find the address, but it might take time. 2. I have a friend. He calls it beer. You would not believe what he does. takes grain you see. and water, right. then makes beer out of it. He takes up sheds and most of the entire of the area under the house. really spectacular stuff. Live yeast cultures from the right breweries trans-shipped across the world, frozen fresh hops of many different breeds, does his own everything, not kits or anything. A micro micro brewery. then it is all on tap. maybe five fridges. Darks, lights, lagers, whatever, usually two at a time. Even the odd ciders, occasionally other things. Heaven. Trust me, I am an ozzie. would i lie about BEER? (hey, drop in. Some of you guys come to Oz. I will take you there. show and tell.)
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 17, 2005 1:14:05 GMT 7
Back to all seriousness, then... I really admire and envy the all-grain homebrewers. I'd love to do it but it takes a commitment of both coin and cubic that I wasn't prepared to accomodate back home. I did extract brewing and made my beers unique by creating my own additions of crystal, chocolate, or black patent malts, and my own hops choices.
Homebrewing good beer from extracts is hard work. All-grain brewing magnifies that ten-fold. But I can only imagine how good it must feel to drink a beer that you created yourself entirely from malt, water, yeast, and hops.
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motis
Barfly
This is my personal text. There are many like it, but this text is mine!
Posts: 84
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Post by motis on Mar 17, 2005 3:19:10 GMT 7
But I can only imagine how good it must feel to drink a beer that you created yourself entirely from malt, water, yeast, and hops. I know how it FEELS, I just want to know how it TASTES. Allow me to explain: Some years ago me and my roomie brewed up some oatmeal stout in the garage. We used some food-grade plastic buckets that he brought home from the supermarket where he worked nights. Food-grade plastic, gotta be OK, right? I didn't find out until it was taste-test time that these wonderful buckets of his weren't exactly new. They'd been washed rather thoroughly, yes, but this particular type of plastic, like many types of plastic, is a bit on the porous side, microscopically speaking. The taste of the bucket's former contents was tucked away all nice and cozy in the plastic's pores when roomie washed the things, and it leeched out into the beer during the brewing process. This taste was amazingly strong in the beer we made... which would have been pretty good if these had been buckets that held chocolate, or raspberries, or something like that. Floor cleaning solvent. And no, it wasn't the kind that is also a dessert topping. Excuse me, I... think I have something in my eye. *sniff*
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Post by George61 on Mar 17, 2005 4:43:42 GMT 7
It amazes me, the rubbish that is dished up on ESL Forums...this one in particular. Simply amazed at the depths to which tiny minds can plummet. But now you dozy lot are finally talking some sense....stick to beer.!
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Post by Hamish on Mar 17, 2005 6:15:49 GMT 7
It amazes me, the rubbish that is dished up on ESL Forums...this one in particular. Simply amazed at the depths to which tiny minds can plummet. What? The "Cadaver-in-waiting" Spoke!?! JESUS! Pheeewwww!!! Brush his tooth!
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Post by Mr Nobody on Mar 17, 2005 7:36:02 GMT 7
I did the floorcleaner mistake once. Fortunately it was a mead not beer, and the floor cleaner was apricot, so the peasants never found out what the fruity flavour was from. (evil smily goes here) Like Raoul i used to do semi-grain type brewing, recreating all sorts of flavours and stuff. Great. My friend and i used to do it together. We recreated medieval brews for a re-enactment club. For twenty years. we got pretty good. This sort of brewing is a big leap (the newer use of quantum used by iggerent folks) from the usual thing. Then, i get sick of hitting people over the head with lumps of metal, and concentrate not having a life but a business, and off he goes learning how to do everything from scratch. Another quantum. I feel like a beginner all over again. Or a student at the feet of a master.
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Post by George61 on Mar 17, 2005 8:16:51 GMT 7
Get back into your walking frame, Ye Ye.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 17, 2005 13:13:47 GMT 7
Simply amazed at the depths to which tiny minds can plummet. This is just the sort of spirit that had him named this year's official International Tiny Minds Poster Child. Ya gotta admire such determination in the face of adversity.
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Post by George61 on Mar 17, 2005 13:24:46 GMT 7
Ha! Water off a duck's back, sport. Water off a duck's back.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 17, 2005 13:43:14 GMT 7
Yes. I suppose one can become accustomed to almost anything, can't one?
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Post by George61 on Mar 17, 2005 14:22:33 GMT 7
Becoming accustomed is not the point, Raoul, my dear. The point is that we Australians have superb control. We realise that the other portions of the world envy us. Trouble being, that their citizens can do naught but pour scorn upon us. "Sour Grapes" come to mind. We simply smile benignly, pat them on the head and tell them to go play in the traffic. We feel waaay to laid-back to get upset at their little pranks. When you are the best, you can feel a tad sympathetic towards the less fortunate, but you can never let them get under your skin. There for, we don't.....QED
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Post by Raoul Duke on Mar 17, 2005 14:36:50 GMT 7
We realise that the other portions of the world envy us. I haven't encountered any of these portions so far, but admittedly I haven't been to Bolivia, Chad, or Bangla Desh yet. Maybe one of them will qualify, so I won't give up on this one just yet. I've seen that "control" you refer to and it's, uh, really something. At least until the liquor runs out.
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Post by George61 on Mar 17, 2005 16:39:44 GMT 7
This refers to ALL other portions....including your lot! And don't pretend I didn't mortally wound you!
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motis
Barfly
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Post by motis on Mar 17, 2005 21:08:52 GMT 7
The point is that we Australians have superb control. We realise that the other portions of the world envy us. Patently absurd. The day that Americans envy Australians is the day the Marines will be wading ashore to take your funny oversized island and all your improbable flora and fauna away from you. We won't kill too many of you though... we're like the Romans that way. Instead, we'll just turn you into us. Once you've gained fifty or sixty pounds from eating McDonald's food four times a day, you'll feel much better. Of course, what with our gubmint dictating policy to yours, and your citizens slavishly consuming our TV shows, movies, and music, there's just no need, is there? You want fries with that?
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